


Keeping Time

by kerryblaze



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Canon, Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-22
Updated: 2011-01-22
Packaged: 2017-10-14 23:09:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 41,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kerryblaze/pseuds/kerryblaze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack leaves Torchwood and Ianto behind. Ianto must go on as leader of Torchwood until he dies. Or so he thinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written before _Children of Earth_ and before S5 of Doctor Who.

Ianto knocked on the door. He stood back, cleared his throat, straightened his tie, and yanked the hem of his suit jacket down. On the other side of the door, a familiar voice, cheerier than Ianto had ever heard it, called out. "Did you lose your keys again, lover?"

The door opened. Ianto smelt beef cooking and his empty stomach rumbled. Rhys's broad grin faltered when he saw Ianto and not Gwen. He peered behind Ianto's shoulder, looking for her, as a piece of Ianto's heart shattered and died.

"Rhys… I…" His voice cracked. _'Dammit! Hold it together. Be professional.'_

Rhys knew. He looked into Ianto's face and knew. He stumbled backwards a few steps and dropped the tea towel that he'd been holding. "No - no. Don't you dare…"

"Rhys, it was quick. She didn't suffer," Ianto repeated the words that he had practised in the SUV on the drive over and stepped into the flat, a picture of Gwen and Rhys from their wedding caught his eye and the reserve he had put on vanished. Misery overwhelmed him. He swallowed back the agony. "There was nothing we could do."

Rhys lunged at Ianto, grabbing his lapels and shoving him against the wall. "Don't! Don't say it! Don't tell me… oh God, please don't! Fucking Torchwood…"

Rhys pulled back his arm, and though Ianto could've easily managed to stop him, he didn't, and he allowed Rhys's fist to collide with his face, the knuckles splitting open his bottom lip.

"I won't…" Ianto paused when he felt fresh warm blood trickle down his chin. He didn't wipe it away. "I won't. If you don't want me to – I won't."

They stared at each other for a long time, Rhys's breath hitting Ianto's face in hard spurts. Finally, Rhys's face contorted in pain and he sunk to his knees at Ianto's feet. Ianto bent down next to him, balancing himself on one knee. He placed a gentle hand on Rhys's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Rhys."

"How? Please tell me how?"

"She… we thought there were children trapped in a building. She ran in to save them. Jack ran in after her. It was a trap. There were bombs…"

Rhys looked up at Ianto. "And Jack survived. Or should I say, he died and came back. That's how it works?"

Ianto nodded.

"Fucking Torchwood!" Rhys stood up quickly, making Ianto press his palms flat on the floor behind him to keep from falling. "Where is he? Where the fuck is he now? Why didn't he tell me himself, the fucking coward?"

"He wanted to… but Gwen, well, she asked me once if I'd be the one to tell you - not Jack. She thought it'd be easier."

"For him or for me?"

"For you," Ianto lied. He knew it was for both of them.

Rhys slumped down in the sofa, his face expressionless. Ianto joined him, folding his hands in his lap. He waited silently, wondering if there was more that he could do, wondering if he should use the retcon pills that Jack had given him. It was so tempting to use them. To take away Rhys's pain. But it would leave no memory of Gwen. Not a trace. And that, Ianto knew for certain, would be worse than the grief.

Rhys looked at the door. "She's not coming home?"

Ianto knew that it wasn't really a question; so, he didn't answer it.

"Who did this? Are they… did you…?"

"They've been dealt with," Ianto said, contempt and anger apparent in his tone.

"Permanently?"

"Yes."

"It's not fair," Rhys whimpered. "I warned her. I should've forced her to quit. I should've…" Rhys put his face in his hands and let his grief flow out of him in quiet sobs that shook his entire body. Ianto got up and picked up the tea towel from the floor and sat back down, waiting until the sobs slowed. He handed Rhys the towel. Rhys wiped his face and blew his nose with it.

"When can I get her?" Rhys asked.

Jack had been insistent.

 _'She stays here!'_

 _'Jack, be reasonable. She has Rhys. She has a family. We can't keep her here in the morgue.'_

 _'She knew the rules.'_

 _'We can break them when we want.'_

 _'She stays here!'  
_  
"There are rules. We can't – "

"Fucking Torchwood rules, right?"

Ianto nodded.

"Bullshite! Jack _is_ Torchwood. Jack can bend the fucking rules." Rhys stood, grabbed Ianto's arm and forced him to stand as well. "You tell your boss," Rhys shoved Ianto forward towards the door, "that I'm picking up my wife first thing in the morning and he'd better let me or I'll…"

"I know," Ianto said softly. "I know it's right. I'll… I'll talk to Jack. He's not thinking straight." Ianto reached out to comfort Rhys with his hand, proper and distant enough for male comforting, but Rhys released him from his grip and moved further away.

Ianto delivered the message that Gwen had given him right after they had lost Toshiko and Owen. "Gwen said to tell you to look in the box in your bedroom closet. Top shelf. The one with the hideous pink flowers on it." He turned and left.

"You're next you know!" Rhys shouted down the hall at Ianto's back. "You're bloody well next! Harkness will destroy all of you!"

~ ~ ~

Ianto put his coat over his arm and took a deep breath as the cog door opened. Everyone in the room turned to watch him walk through.

Kate, the newest member of their team, their technical genius, though Ianto never thought she was as good as Toshiko, wiped her nose with a tissue, which seemed to spark more crying. Joseph, their doctor, the one who had pronounced Gwen dead and received a black-eye for it from Jack, put his arm around Kate, pulling her to his chest. Mickey, who had fit right in from the start, who understood better than all the new recruits what each of them risked, stepped forward.

"I don't want to talk about it," Ianto said, immediately regretting the snappish tone. He sighed. "Sorry. It's…"

"Don't worry about it, mate," Mickey said. He pointed at his lip. "Put ice on that."

Ianto had forgotten about it. He touched it and winced. "Where's Jack?"

"I don't know," Mickey said. "He put on his coat, told us to wait for you, and left."

Ianto looked at the other two. They stared back at him through puffy, red-rimmed eyes, helpless and confused, looking to him for direction.

"Go home," he said, trying to sound authoritative and sympathetic, but it came out sounding angry. "Sorry. I didn't mean to… just go home. Take care of yourselves."

No one moved. Ianto looked at each one of them individually, silent truths being exchanged. They only had each other. There was no one else. Gwen had been the only one with someone waiting at home for her. Now, Rhys was alone and, at least, they still had each other.

Ianto dropped his coat on the closest chair. "Anyone hungry?"

They looked away, wearing guilty faces. Ianto knew what they were thinking… what they were feeling. Gwen was dead and they ached for her, and they thought being hungry was trivial compared to that.

"It's okay to eat," Ianto said. "It's a basic human need." Ianto sat down on the Hub's poor excuse for a sofa and took Kate's hand. "We're alive. Gwen knew the risks. We lived through losing Tosh and Owen. If she was here, she'd be hand feeding all of you to be sure that you didn't get sick." This earned tiny smiles from them all. "We need to eat and sleep. We still have this place to run. That is… if any of you have changed your mind because of this, you need to tell…" He paused, ready to say Jack, but Jack wasn't here. "You need to tell me now. There's no shame in that. This life isn't for everyone."

Joseph shook his head first. Mickey seemed offended that Ianto had even looked at him. Lastly, Kate shook her head and whispered, "No."

"That's settled then. We're still a team… and we need to eat. Chinese, pizza, or curry? Never mind. You lot can never decide. I'll decide for you."

The Chinese take-away arrived at the tourist office an hour later. Ianto brought it down to the main Hub and stored a container of fried sweet and sour king prawn balls for Jack in the small refrigerator in his office. This team had never been as quiet before while they ate. Normally, Jack or Mickey told outrageous stories about their travels, some true and some not, wide-eyed Kate believing all of them. Joseph and his humourless scientific personality played straight man and tried to point out the gaping holes of logic in the tales. Mickey, and especially Jack, took it as a challenge and the stories just grew wilder with each meal.

When they were finished, Ianto demanded that they all go home, and he retreated to Jack's office. He thought he'd feel safer there, protected from the coldness inside of him he felt from just knowing that Gwen's body laid out in the autopsy room.

He punched up her file on the computer and entered in the details of her death, breaking only when he couldn't see any longer through tears.

~ ~ ~

"Rhys just left."

Ianto looked up from Jack's desk at Mickey standing in the doorway. "Thanks, Mickey."

"He went with the body to the funeral home. He said he'll contact us about the funeral. But he said that he didn't want –"

"Jack there."

"Yeah."

"Ianto, it was the right thing to do, giving her back to her husband."

"I know."

"Don't let Jack come down too hard on you when he gets back."

"I'm not worried about Jack."

~ ~ ~

"Welcome back," Ianto said without looking up from his task.

"You're angry."

"No, Jack. I'm not angry."

"Then look at me."

Ianto looked up and saw exactly what he had expected, Jack standing there in his greatcoat, looking perfect, charming, and sad, but not sorry enough for what he had done.

"I saw you there… lurking," Ianto said.

"I know. I figured Rhys didn't want me anywhere near him."

"He didn't."

Jack took off his coat and placed it on the back of the empty chair in front of the desk. He paused for a second before sitting down, having no other choice, since Ianto didn't offer to relinquish Jack's seat behind the desk. Ianto went back to the paperwork he was filling out that would defer the costs of the burial to Torchwood.

"You disobeyed my orders."

"You weren't here to give any."

"I told you that I wanted –"

"Jack, this may surprise you, but I don't give a fuck what you wanted. What Rhys _needed_ , what the team _needed_ was more important. Gwen deserved a proper burial and I made sure that she got one."

Jack nodded. "I was being an ass."

"You were," Ianto agreed. It was the best apology Jack had ever given Ianto. "Where'd you go?"

"To visit with Martha."

"Martha? She didn't mention it."

"I asked her not to. Don't hate me, Ianto. Please. I couldn't stand it if you hate me."

"Hate you? Jack, listen. You were wrong, but you've done worse things. I know, if you were here, you would've eventually… oh…" Ianto felt a sudden punch of panic to his gut. Martha had come to the funeral. Jack knew Martha would come here. So, why… there was only one thing that Martha could help Jack with that Jack wouldn't want his team to know about. But why? Why would he…?  
"That's not what you were talking about."

Jack shook his head slowly. "No."

"What did you do?"

"It's not what I did. It's what I'm going to do." He stood and begun pacing. "I'm leaving."

 

"For how long?"

"For good."

Ianto's worse fear – no, Ianto's worse fear was Jack leaving without telling him. Ianto's second worse fear had come true – Jack was leaving with the Doctor.

Ianto shook his head. "No. Jack, think about this. You're grieving. You're not thinking straight."

"I am thinking straight. I can't do... I can't be here anymore."

"Right. It's about you. What about us? Torchwood needs you."

Jack stared at him for a moment. Very softly he said, "Torchwood. Torchwood needs me."

"Yes. Torchwood needs _you_!"

"Not anymore. I'm too close, Ianto. I care too much. Fuck!" He banged his hand against a cabinet. "Before her… Gwen. Before Gwen I didn't care. You were all just soldiers in a bloody fucking war! _Now_ I care too fucking much."

The confession hurt much worse than Ianto had counted on. Gwen was who had mattered in Jack's life. Losing her had finally broken Jack. Ianto couldn't look at Jack any longer. He couldn't stand to see the reality of his place in Jack's heart.

"Ianto…" Jack sat on the edge of the desk, grabbed Ianto's jaw, and forced him to look to meet his eyes. "Gwen forced me to feel again. She made me feel for her and, it's because of her, I was able to open up and feel for you, too."

"You don't have to leave."

"I do. I feel too much now. Watching Gwen die… the thought of watching you die… I just can't shut it off now. It could influence everything that I do. Every decision that I make. I can't trust my instincts anymore. It'll be the team – the world – the universe at risk. I feel safe here. It feels as close to home as I've been in a long – such a long damn time that I've forgotten what I have to do. What I'm here for."

"Why do you have to be the one to do it?"

Jack shrugged solemnly. "I don't know. I'm… I don't know what I am. But I have to be here for a reason. This abnormal existence that I'm trapped in has to be for a reason and I just _know_ that the reason is to protect the universe, to keep it moving forward to its future. If it's not, if I stopped believing that…"

There was a part of Ianto that knew Jack was right. He was the leader, the one to make the most difficult, severe decisions. Ianto had also known that Jack would let him die or kill Ianto himself, if it meant saving the masses. Ianto had accepted that, even felt comfort by it. Jack wasn't just his hero – he was a hero shielding the innocent from the worst that the universe had to offer, and now Jack was telling him that there was a possibility he'd risk that to save him. He had to accept that and ignore the part of him that wanted to plead with Jack to stay with him. Not Torchwood - _him_.

As Ianto internally struggled with the selfish part of him, Jack stood and slid a cabinet over. He dug his fingers into the creases between a red brick and wiggled it until it was loose enough to dislodge. He reached his arm into the wall up to his elbow and pulled out a black leather book. He placed it on the desk in front of Ianto and wiped his dusty hands on his trousers.

"This is something for the eyes of the leaders of Torchwood only," Jack said, putting a hand on Ianto's neck. He squeezed gently. "You thought you knew everything." He tapped the Torchwood emblem on the dusty cover. "This is the rest of everything."

Realisation on what Jack meant struck Ianto, his jaw dropped, and he swung around, gaping at Jack. "Me? You want _me_ to take over Torchwood?"

"Who else? The rest of the team already looks up to you."

"Jack, for christ's sake, I'm only twenty-six!"

"What does that have to do with it? Martha saved the entire universe when she was younger than that. The team looks up to you. Age doesn't have anything to do with being a leader."

"I…" He stopped himself from saying 'can't' because he could and there was no arguing about it with Jack. "So… you're going with _him_. To travel with him."

"Yes. No. He's taking me somewhere, but I'm not staying with him."

"Where?"

"I don't know yet."

"When?"

"Tonight."

Desperation drove Ianto to jump out of his seat and pace the floor, running his hands through his hair. Jack was so intertwined with Ianto's existence that the thought of him not being there was almost too much for Ianto to bear.

Jack grabbed him from behind, wrapping his arms around Ianto's chest and resting his chin on Ianto's shoulder. "I am hurting too, Ianto. I wish it didn't have to be like this. I want you to…" Jack sighed. "You need to stay here and keep things in order. You need to be the leader to this team. Torchwood is as much a part of you as it is me. If it lost both of us, it would crumble."

"What about Mickey? Mickey knows –"

"Mickey's a wanderer. I recognise the look in his eyes. He's seen too much and eventually he'll feel the need to go somewhere else. You – you, Ianto, are not. You're loyal and you know this is where you're needed…" Jack kissed Ianto's ear. His voice cracked as he whispered, "Until the end."

Ianto heard the anguish in Jack's voice. "I'll miss you. I…"

Jack pulled him in tighter. "I know."

"Let me say it, Jack."

"You never wanted to before."

Jack was right. Ianto had never verbally exposed his feelings to Jack, mostly because Ianto was afraid that once he did he would be abandoned.

Nothing to lose now, he thought.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

~ ~ ~

"He what?"

Mickey's angry shouts echoed through the Hub.

Ianto stood there; his back straight, his shoulders back, and his face impassive. "He's gone."

"And what are we supposed to?"

Ianto looked at Kate and Joseph, who hadn't spoken a word since Ianto revealed Jack's departure. He gave them a reassuring smile, like a father wordlessly telling their child, _'Let daddy handle this.'_

"Business as usual," Ianto said firmly. "Jack left me in charge. Anyone have any problems with that?"

No one spoke.

"Right. Then let's get started." Ianto sat down in Jack's – no, _his_ chair – at the head of the table. "Kate's predicted that we can expect a spike in… Mickey, are you going to sit down? Because if you're not, while you're up, will you get us some coffee?" Mickey made an annoyed sound, but sat down.

The rest of the day and night went better than Ianto had expected. There were even times when Mickey seemed to have forgotten his anger at Jack and behaved normally, telling dodgy jokes and poking fun at Joseph. There were even times when Ianto seemed to have forgotten his anger at Jack too. Work was always the best distraction, and, honestly, he was itching for all of them to leave so he could settle down with Torchwood's secret book and absorb all the fascinating information it held.

"Ianto…"

Kate stood in the doorway, wringing her hands.

"Yeah."

"We'll be all right without Jack, right?"

"We'll be fine. Though… we'll have to adjust our strategies for those tricky situations where we could send him in and not worry about him dying permanently."

Kate's eyes widen, looking horrified at the thought of what new strategy Ianto would come up with.

"It's all right, Kate," Ianto said evenly, hiding the humour that he felt.

"Go home and get sleep. If your prediction is correct, we can expect a rough few days starting tomorrow at…"

"Sixteen hundred."

"Good job," Ianto said, swirled in his chair, and turned on his monitor, signalling that she should listen and leave.

She did, but Mickey came in a less than a minute later. "We need to talk about this."

"We don't. We really, really don't. Jack's gone. That's that."

"You let him leave!"

Ianto laughed. "You think that I could've stopped him. And even if I could, he was right. He had to go."

"You think he was right? You wanted him to go? I don't believe that for a moment, mate."

"I didn't say that I wanted him to go. I said that he was right. If Jack believed that he couldn't serve as our leader anymore, then he couldn't. We can't have anyone on the team who isn't fully prepared to accept the consequences that go along with this line of work. Speaking of that…" Ianto stood up and made sure that Kate wasn't still in the Hub. "Kate's out."

" _What_?"

"She's struggling. She's –"

"She's brilliant! She's doing just fine."

 

"Fine isn't good enough. And, yes, she is brilliant, but she doesn't have what it takes. It's not in her gut. Gwen felt sorry for her. She had faith that Kate would grow into the job. I felt differently and Jack gave in to Gwen. I was hoping Kate would prove me wrong, but now she's become afraid of her own shadow. She'll just get herself or one of us killed. You know that I'm right."

Mickey looked reluctant to admit it, but he nodded.

"We'll need her tomorrow. If everything goes well, I'll retcon her on Thursday. I need you to set-up the post-retcon monitoring procedures. I want to be sure she's okay."

"What post-retcon monitoring procedures?"

"There on your computer in your private folder. I moved them there this morning."

Mickey sighed. "I hate this job some days."

Ianto nodded. "It's still better than not having feelings towards it at all."

Mickey left, the Hub fell quiet, and Ianto dropped the mask of leader that he had been wearing all day and easily slipped into the one of a mourning lover. He picked up the gold button that he had stolen from Jack's coat and twirled it between his fingers, thinking of last night.

 _Ianto buttoned his shirt and watched Jack slip his bracers over his shoulders. It was one of a hundred little things that made Captain Jack Harkness who he was, and Ianto was going to miss every one of them. It was all so different from Lisa. With her, he hadn't known when the last time would be. He really couldn't decide which was worse._

 _Jack reached for his coat, but Ianto grabbed it out from under his hand. He held it open. Jack froze, the muscles on his face twisted, and, for a moment, Ianto thought that he was going to cry. But he didn't. He readjusted his face into a smile, turned around, and stretched his arms out behind him, allowing Ianto to slip it on for one last time._

 _When Jack turned to face him, Ianto put his palm flat on Jack's chest, over his heart, using it as leverage, so the other hand could rip a button off the coat. He held it up, between his two fingers. "Something to remember you by."_

 _Jack grinned, the cheeky grin that suited his flawless face perfectly. "As if you could ever forget something as perfect," he waved his hand in front of his face, "as this."_

 _The pit of Ianto's stomach burned, but he forced a smile. "I want to remember your face like that –charming _and_ arrogant. So just go. Now."_

And without a word, or a change in his expression, Jack spun on his heels, his coat sweeping out around him, and left.

Had it only been a day?

Ianto slipped the button into his pocket just as the Rift monitor alarms went off. He groaned. So much for Kate's prediction.


	2. Chapter 2

Ianto held the glass canter up to the light illuminating from his desk lamp. He twirled his wrist, the golden amber liquid swirling inside glowing. It was the last of Jack's favourite whisky. He poured a glass, opened his journal, and wrote:

 _A year has passed since we buried Gwen and Jack left, and, just like after Lisa, Torchwood saved me._

 _I still miss him though._

He raised the glass. "To Captain Jack Harkness, thank you for not leaving me alone."

~ ~ ~

Ianto, with his team trailing behind him, stepped up to the police line, lifted the yellow tape, and held it up for the three of them to hunch under before he followed, taking up the lead again.

A tall burly man, a real authoritative looking type, wearing a Customs Officer's uniform, ran over. "Oi! Who are you? And what in bloody hell do you think you're doing?"

Ianto held out his credentials. "Ianto Jones," he waved towards his team, "and this is Torchwood and we're in charge here now."

"I don't think you bloody well are!"

"We are. Now, please, ask your team to stand behind the roped off area."

"You don't have the authority to give me orders!"

Tammy, Katie's replacement, stepped forward as she unbuttoned her blouse just enough to expose _more_ of her hefty cleavage. Ianto stepped in front of her, blocking her from the irritated Customs Officer's view. "I've got this one. Thanks for the effort, though." He turned back, facing the man, and smiled broadly. "I'm sorry… uh, I didn't ask your name. That was incredibly rude of me."

"HMRC's Principal Customs Officer Michael Walton," Michael said tightly.

Ianto smiled again. "Ianto Jones, Torchwood."

"I know about you lot."

"You do?"

"Trouble. I hear that's what you bring with you everywhere."

"No. We don't bring it, we just trail after it." Ianto put his arm around Michael's shoulders and led him away from their teams' ears. "Michael, this is something that your team, as well-trained and brave as they are, are not experienced enough to handle."

"Smuggling illegal goods is our job and that warehouse there is full of them."

"Have you seen the goods?"

"Well, yes, I have, but…"

" _But_ you've never seen anything like it before?"

"No, but –"

"We have, sir. We have seen things like this plenty of times before. That doesn't make us better than you or more extraordinary, just more experienced in these matters. And this one particular matter is very serious. _Deadly_ serious and I know – straight away, I could see what a fine leader you are - that you wouldn't risk your team's lives when there are capable hands here, who are more than willing to handle these objects and who know exactly what to do with them."

"Your team…" Michael pointed at the large decaying warehouse behind him. "Your team knows how to deal with the lot of goods in there? There were some odd looking contraptions. Some of them looked almost… medieval."

"We do. I really need for your team to clear the area. We're good, but accidents have been known to happen."

Michael looked around at the people watching them. He opened his mouth, hesitated a moment, and shouted, "All right, people. Torchwood's here. They've got this under control. Let's clear out."

Ianto walked back to his team, pausing when someone in the crowd caught his eye. It was a man, wearing black jeans and a maroon velvet blazer over a t-shirt, an ensemble that looked out of place among a sea of uniforms. He was looking straight at Ianto, and their eyes met for a brief second before Mickey clapped Ianto on the back, causing him to look away. "Good job, boss. Do we have to retcon any of them?"

Ianto looked back at the spot where the man had stood, but he was gone. "Nah. They have no idea what they've found."

"What have they found?" Joseph asked.

"No idea." Ianto curled one side of his lip into a smirk. "Let's go find out!"

~ ~ ~

The fire below flared up, dancing at Ianto's feet. He balanced himself on the small platform that suspended him over the massive crater in the ground. He wiped the sweat from his brow. "How long have we got, Tammy?"

Her voice filled his left ear. "If my formulas are accurate…"

"They're always accurate."

"Thank you, ducky. You've got six minutes and twenty-eight seconds."

Ianto took out his stopwatch and clicked it as looked over the ravine at Mickey, who was tinkering with an alien machine that Ianto had let him keep a few months ago. "Mickey, I need you to hurry up!"

"I've almost… got… it."

"Almost isn't going to get us out of here."

"Sir, I'm almost there," Joseph shouted over the intercom.

"Six minutes almost here?"

"No. Probably not."

"Definitely not," Tammy said. "Even if Joseph's car reached maximum speed without slowing down for crossroads, he would still only make it there in nine minutes and forty-two seconds."

"Tammy, did you just do that in your head?" Ianto asked.

"Yes, why."

"Just wondering."

"I got it!" Mickey shouted. He stepped on the machine's flat surface, tapped his foot, and it ascended a few inches above the ground and hovered there. "How cool is this?"

"Very cool," Ianto agreed. "It'll be even cooler if you get your arse over here, pick me up, and get us the hell out of here, since we only have," he glanced at his watch, "four minutes and three seconds."

"You're awfully tetchy in life or death situations!" Mickey shouted back.

The hovercraft flew over and Ianto stepped on to it, ignoring the very sensible fear that it was going to break again and send them plummeting into the fire. The craft jerked and he wrapped his arms around Mickey. "Are you sure you know how to drive this thiiinnnnngggg?" The hovercraft shot upwards towards the top of the crater as Ianto clung to Mickey, chanting in his head, _'Don't look down. Don't look down.'_

"Of course!" Mickey said. "It was the extreme heat conditions that threw it off. I just had to adjust the settings."

As soon as they reached the surface, Ianto made a beeline for a transformer box. "Tammy, give me those numbers!"

Tammy rattled off the code that she had had to break through ten encryptions to get to. Ianto punched in the numbers and nothing happened. "What's going on? Are you sure –"

"Oh, sorry, Ianto, I forgot – hit the hash key."

Ianto pounded the hash key and the rumbling stopped. Mickey peered into the pit, turned, and winked. "It's all good, boss!"

Ianto adjusted his tie and smoothed down his jacket. Mickey rolled his eyes. "You look fine, princess."

"Shut it," Ianto said playfully.

The sound of tires driving over gravel alerted them to Joseph's arrival. "Sorry," he said as he stepped out of the car. "I see everything's under control."

"Yep," Ianto said.

Joseph pointed at the body of the dead alien. "That the only one?"

"Two more over…" Right in the direction of Ianto's line of sight, he saw a man walking, but only for a few steps before he seemed to disappear into thin air. Ianto took off at a run. Joseph and Mickey following and shouting at him, asking what was wrong.

Ianto stopped where he thought he had seen the man. "Joseph, check this area… about a fifty feet in all directions for something unusual."

"Unusual like how?"

"Anything out of the ordinary."

"What is it?" Mickey asked. He had drawn his gun and was following Ianto's lead, looking around in a circle.

"I don't know," Ianto said. "I saw someone."

"Who?"

"I don't know. A man and he… he seemed familiar."

"I don't see anything now."

"Me either," Joseph said. "There are some residual radiation readings, but nothing out of the norm for what just happened here."

Mickey, put his hand on Ianto's shoulder. "Let Joseph take a look at you. It was awfully hot down there and you were there longer than me. It could be heat stroke or something."

"Yeah," Ianto said, though he knew it wasn't.

"We'll take care of the bodies," Joseph said. "Why don't you sit in the SUV? You'll feel better."

"I'll feel better when I figure out where I've seen him before," Ianto muttered under his breath.

~ ~ ~

Ianto grunted as he rolled the heavy piece of concrete away. "Hold on, Aflie. We're coming!"

"Okay, sir," Alfie said through their com devices.

"Tammy, are you through scanning the structure?"

Tammy balanced the laptop in one hand as she typed with the other. "Yeah. It's stable. The bomb only damaged the front exterior of the structure."

"Ellie, how you holding up?"

Ellie nodded and grunted as she swung the pickaxe against the rock.

"Aflie, keep talking to us?"

"About what, sir?"

"How about… how about you tell us about the new security procedures?"

"But someone might be listening."

Ianto smiled. "You're right, Alfie. Then tell us about the Millennium Centre's anniversary celebration."

"Yeah, Alfie," Ellie said cheerfully. "I can't believe The Armadillo has been around _fifteen_ years!"

"They put up the banners around the Plass yesterday," Alfie said.

Ellie motioned for Ianto to cover his com piece as Alfie continued. "His breathing is laboured," she said quietly. "Ask him if there's anything on his chest?"

"Aflie," Ianto said, cutting off Alfie's list of the planned events over the next few months. "Is something on top of you?"

"Yeah. Loads of rocks."

"Does your chest hurt?"

"A bit. I think my leg is broken too and maybe my arm."

 _'Faster,'_ Ianto mouthed to Ellie. Aloud, he encouraged the young man trapped under the destroyed building to continue. "Go on, Alfie, keep talking. We're listening."

"Sir, if I don't make it –"

"Stop it. Right now, Alfie," Ellie said. "You're not going to die, especially not _today_!"

"Today – what's special about today?" Alfie asked.

"Today's Ianto's birthday," she responded. "And no one can die on the leader's birthday. It's a Torchwood rule."

Ianto gaped at her. He didn't know how she knew. She smiled at him, and he felt himself inappropriately blushing.

"I didn't know," Alfie said. "I'm sorry, sir. I would've bought you a cake."

Tammy said, "I didn't know either. I've been here for years and I didn't think you actually had a birthday."

"I wasn't hatched from an egg," Ianto said, frowning.

"Even if you were, you'd still have a birthday," Tammy pointed out. "By the way, how old are you?"

"Thirty-six."

"And I think you don't look a day over thirty," Ellie said.

"I don't know about -" Ianto noticed that the police had arrived. He nodded towards Tammy. "Tell them to hurry."

"Help's here, Alfie," Ellie said. "You're going to be out of there in no time!"

The police's special equipment extracted Alfie much quicker than Ianto and Ellie would have with only hands and a pickaxe. He was hurt bad, but Ellie said he'd make a full recovery. She rode with him to hospital, while Tammy and Ianto stayed behind to collect the pieces of the bomb and inspect the building. As the police dispersed, Ianto spotted the Man again. He didn't know how long the Man had been there, but once he realised that he had been spotted, he stepped behind a police van that pulled away almost immediately, showing that the Man had vanished.

Ianto quickly pulled a notebook out of his inside jacket pocket and wrote the date down. The last date scribbled on the page was two years ago within three days. The date above that was four years and one week ago. The pattern was clear, every two years around his birthday, he saw the Man for only a few seconds. It had begun eight years ago. And it was driving Ianto mad.

~ ~ ~

Ianto looked out the office window at Ellie standing at her desk, shuffling papers around pointlessly. She saw him looking, cocked her head towards Alfie intensely entering data into his computer, and rolled her eyes. He winked at her and she winked back.

An hour or so later, he heard Alfie calling out good night to him. He shouted back and waited for the cog door to close until he stood and wandered downstairs, planning on getting lost in the soft, warm body wrapped around the soul of someone he could've loved once.

~ ~ ~

"Thanks, Sayru! Night, Peter! Extra strong coffee in the morning, Alfie!" Ianto called out as he waved his hand that was still holding the birthday card the team had given him. They drove off with their heads out the window, singing another off-key rendition of _'Happy Birthday.'_

Ianto grinned at his card. The front had a crude drawing of the pterodactyl with a banner tied around her foot and extending out behind her that read, _'Happy Birthday, Boss!_ Everyone on the team had signed it and presented it to Ianto with a decorative cake. Last year, they had all been recovering from a bout of Lyracroatian flu, and Ianto's birthday had gone unnoticed. Not that he minded. But this year they had truly surprised him, and he had found that he couldn't be surly about it, especially when there had been a rich chocolate cake involved.

Something behind him moved; it caught his eye in the window of the pub that he and his team had just exited. He spun around and drew his gun in the blink of an eye.

"Why are you stalking me?" he shouted at the Man standing there, looking shocked.

"Oi! What are ye a nutter? I'm not stalking ye. I'm just standing here waiting for me mates!"

The Man's accent was as phoney as Torchwood's cover stories to the police and press. Ianto glared at him. "Just stop it. Your accent is horrid. Tell me who you are?"

The Man cocked his head to the side and considered Ianto.

"Go on then. Tell me!"

"Why do you think I'm stalking you?"

"Because I've seen you before. Over and over. Only on odd years and around my birthday."

"Forgive me. I forgot to wish you a happy birthday." He grinned, showing all of his perfect white teeth. It was out of place on a face that looked like it was constructed only to threaten. "Happy birthday, Ianto Jones."

"Enough games!" Ianto stepped forward, still pointing the gun directly at his chest. "Who the fuck are you?"

"You _know_ who I am?"

Ianto shook his head. "No... it doesn't make sense. You never age. You're wearing the exact same clothes that I saw you in _twelve_ years ago."

"It's only been two days for me."

"That's -"

"I'll stop you from finishing that sentence and embarrassing yourself. It's not impossible and you know it. You know who I am. I couldn't be anyone else."

"You can't be him. I've seen him. And you're not _him_!"

"Didn't Jack tell you?" Ianto's stomach lurched at the mention of his name. It had been so long since he'd heard it outside of his own head. The few people in his life that had known Jack personally never mentioned him, and when one of the team members had to mention him, they would only refer to him as _'that bloke who used to be in charge.'_

"I reckon he didn't," the Doctor continued. "I regenerated a new body. Shortly after you and Gwen helped us defeat the Daleks."

Ianto studied the Man, looking for some resemblance in the Doctor that he had seen. There was none. The Doctor had been tall and skinny, with brown hair and a pointy nose. This bloke was still tall, but broader; his chest, his nose, and even his lips were wide. His eyes were a deep brown, and his hair was long, almost to his shoulders, black and wavy. He had a distinctive Mediterranean look about him, but he spoke with an accent that was entirely middle-class London.

"Regenerated? No, he didn't tell me." But Ianto had known that the Doctor could do that. Mickey had told him – not Jack.

He hadn't considered it. He felt like a fool.

"Yes, Ianto, and I hope to not do it again anytime soon. So, I'm requesting that you put your gun away... please."

Ianto holstered his gun and put his hands on hips. "Well, why do you keep stalking me?"

"I'm looking for the Captain. I thought he might've come back here."

"Jack – here – looking for…" Ianto stopped sputtering and tried to collect his thoughts. None of this was making any sense. "Why would he be here? He left with you fourteen years ago – well, thirteen years and ten months ago to be exact. I haven't seen him since."

"In my linear time, it's only been five days."

Ianto threw his hands in the air. "Five days. In five days, you took Jack to another planet, probably another time, and have been following me around for twelve years." Ianto snorted. "Busy five days."

The Doctor merely grunted.

"Why are you looking for Jack? You know where you dropped him off."

"I lost him."

"You _lost_ him?"

"That's what I said. I lost him."

"What does that mean – you lost him?"

The Doctor leaned against a nearby car and hooked his thumbs in the front pocket of his jeans. "I dropped him off on Hathorari. It's a popular holiday destination. A bit too hedonistic for my tastes. More suited for our Jack's style. I hoped he'd get a bit of R&R, come to his senses, and want to return here, where he belongs. But when I left him… I sensed that something was off! I should've known better. It was a lapse of judgment on my part. Bugger!" The Doctor smacked the side of the car, setting off the car alarm.

"Great," Ianto muttered. He grabbed the Doctor's arm and led him quickly down the street. Once Ianto felt they were far enough away not to be bothered, he let go. "Go on."

"I'd never seen him like that. Sure, he was acting like his usual annoyingly flirtatious self, but there was something sad there. Sadder than normal even for him. I left him and we agreed that I would come back in six months. His time, of course. Not mine. For me, it was a day later and I went back. And he was gone."

"Gone. Just vanished into thin air?"

The Doctor glared at Ianto with his fiercely intense eyes. "No. Not into thin air. The people at the resort said that he had been hanging around with a group of warriors from the Novamillenium galaxy and that he had left with them to go help them win their war."

"You can travel through time. Why didn't you just go back to when you dropped him off and tell him to stay put or bring him somewhere else or put a tracking system on him?"

"Because it had already happened. He left that planet without me. I can't go back and change the events of history. That's not what I do."

"Okay, so, why didn't you go to the Novamillenium galaxy?"

"It's a huge galaxy with many planets and even more wars."

"You didn't even look?"

"Of course, I _looked_. It took me a few days, but I finally tracked down the territory where he had been, he'd spent close to a quarter of a century there."

"A quarter of a…" Ianto shook his head that was beginning to hurt from the cheap drinks and the confusion of time-travel. "So, you looked for Jack in the short span of a few days, Jack left here fourteen years –"

"Thirteen years and ten months," the Doctor interrupted.

"Right. Jack left here thirteen years and ten months ago, _but_ for you, in your concept of time, he's already lived through a straight time line of fifty years – that right?"

"That's correct. Not bad for someone who's slightly pissed."

"I'm not… never mind. Go on, please."

"I'd just missed him. Someone there mentioned that he got his Vortex Manipulator fixed."

"His wrist strap?"

The Doctor nodded.

"Fuck!" Ianto spun on his heels, paced towards the wall, and back again. "Do you have any idea what he can do with that thing? Where he could go? What Jack's capable of when he's moody? Wait. I'm sorry. You do. I know that you do. Sorry." It was morbidly amazing how easily Ianto had slipped back into the role of worrying about Jack. And pretty damn frightening, too. He took a deep breath and grounded himself. "It's not my problem."

"I didn't have any plans on making it _your_ problem. You’re the one who threatened me with your gun to tell you."

"Right then," Ianto said angrily. "There's no reason for him to come back here. He left. So quit stalking me."

"I will."

"Good."

Ianto marched down the street back towards the pub and his car. He yelled over his shoulder, "Need a ride to your ship?"

"No, thanks. I'll walk," the Doctor shouted back.

"Be careful then."

"I will."

"All right, then."

"Oi, Ianto!"

Ianto turned back around. The Doctor smiled. This one was different, and Ianto realised that his initial assessment had been wrong. His face wasn't made just to threaten. The smile was rather charming, affectionate, and sincere enough to make Ianto relax his defensive body language.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said genuinely. "I didn't mean to hurt you by bringing back bad memories."

"It's not the bad ones, Doctor. But thank you anyway."

~ ~ ~

"Hi, Ianto."

Ianto opened his eyes and saw Martha's beautiful smile directed at him. "Hi." He struggled to sit up and she rushed over to help him, adjusting the pillows behind his back.

"How are you feeling?"

"All right. Tired, but I think that's a consequence of boredom rather than a bullet in the chest."

She sat on the edge of the bed and held his hand. "You were lucky. We thought we'd lost you."

"Yeah. I thought so too there for a minute."

Her brow creased and she patted his hand.

"I wasn't scared," he said.

"That's what worries me."

"Don't. We both know that I'm already way past my prime."

"Ianto, don't talk like that," she scolded.

"It's true."

"I know… that's why I'm wondering… have you ever considered retiring?"

"And doing what?"

"Travel. Have a lie-in on Sunday mornings. Drink tea or coffee in bed and read."

"It all sounds incredibly boring."

"Something's wrong with you," she said with a sigh.

"Of course, there is," he replied. "Has to be something wrong with all of us to get into this line of work."

"That's not what I meant," she said. "The last year you've been… _different_. Not unhappy, but not…" She stopped and looked like she was struggling for a word.

"Off kilter," Ianto offered.

"That's it! You feel it – don't you?"

He nodded. "Ever since my run-in with the Doctor. It's like… it's like time shifted inside of me. Like I'm a few seconds behind. Then sometimes like I'm ahead, but never right on track."

She shook her head. "You don't think he did anything to you – do you? He wouldn't. That's not like him."

"No. He didn't do anything." He sighed, leaned back into the pillows, and closed his eyes. "I don't know what it is, but something doesn't feel right."


	3. Chapter 3

"Urgh!" Ianto held his handkerchief against his forehead in a feeble attempt to stop the bleeding. He hated head wounds. They bled too much and he was wearing his favourite shirt today too. "I'm too bloody old for this."

Peter poked him in the ribs. "Shut it, mate. You're only four years older than me."

"Yeah, but I've been doing this longer."

"And you've got the grey hairs to prove it."

Ianto patted his hair. "Oi! Only on the sides."

"A few other places too…"

Ianto raised his eyebrows. "You don't seem to mind."

Before Peter could give his retort, Tim sauntered out of the building, smirking.

"Did you get him?" Peter asked as he helped Ianto to his feet.

"Of course. He's knocked-out and tied up. I need help carrying him though."

"I miss Alfie," Peter whispered in Ianto's ear. "Too smug this one is."

Ianto grunted in agreement. "You help him. I'll get the SUV."

"Driving with a head wound doesn't sound like a good idea," Peter said.

"I've driven with worse," Ianto responded and jogged to the SUV parked around the other side of the building. He got in and checked the gash on his forehead. It needed stitches for sure. He turned on the com in the car. "Sayru, everything all right?"

"Brilliant. Crisis diverted here. You?"

"We got it. Well, Tim got it."

"Is he gloating?"

"Of course."

"Git."

"You're going to love this one," Ianto said. "The alien spits acid."

"Bloody hell! Where's it from?" she said, excitement dripping from her voice.

Sayru, Ianto's tiny ball of fire, had gone from their medical expert to an all-around Torchwood life-time member. Ianto imagined that he could pick her up and over his head with one hand - not that he would ever attempt it and find himself facing her wrath. She was a great force, feisty, intelligent, and a natural born leader. He'd watched her - without any weapons at all - take down aliens three times her size as easily as she broke into encrypted databases with one hand, while sipping from her coffee mug with the other.

Ianto adored her, and she was undoubtedly his second.

"Don't know," he said. "Get Dylan in for the autopsy."

"Hello, Ianto Jones."

Ianto jumped in his seat and scrambled for his gun until he saw who was peering into the car.

"Ianto, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Sayru. It's an old… er, colleague. I'm signing off. See you back at the house." He shifted in his seat, facing the window. "Hello, Doctor. How are you?"

"I've been better, and, by the looks of you, I reckon you could say the same."

"This is nothing. Just another day at the office. So… it's been two years for me. How long for you?"

"I don't know," the Doctor replied distractedly. "I lost track of time, but it couldn't have been more than a few days."

 

"When you focus on something, you really focus on it."

"Jack's important."

"To you?"

The Doctor looked dumbfounded and quite uncomfortable at the question. "Er, yes, but…"

Ianto finally realised why the Doctor was here. "You found him."

"Yes."

"Where?"

"A very long time from here."

"Is he in trouble?"

"Yes."

"How bad?"

"Dire."

"What's your definition of dire?" Ianto asked.

"The universe going _boom_ is my broadest definition of dire."

"And you need Torchwood's help?"

The Doctor placed his hand on the open window of the SUV. "Not Torchwood, Ianto Jones. _You_. Only _you_."

"Could you say that with slightly more drama? I think it came across a bit too nonchalant to really get my attention."

"Ianto, where are you?" Peter's voice shouted through Ianto's earpiece. "This tranquiliser isn't going to last forever!"

"I have to go and help them," Ianto said stiffly.

The Doctor put his hand through the window and held Ianto's forearm. "I can't do this. Do you know how difficult that is for me to admit? I can't fix Jack with my cosmic superior intellect or clever tricks."

"Why does Jack need to be fixed? How did he break? And how do I fix him?"

"Jack needs only something that you can give him. It has to be you."

"Why me?"

"Trust me. You'll understand eventually."

"God, I hope to hell that I don't sound like _that_ when I talk to my team."

"You do. We all do. It comes with the job. Well…?"

"You'll take me to him." Ianto pointed to the sky. "Up there."

"Way beyond just _'up there.'_ "

"For how long."

"As long as you want."

"Ianto!" Peter bellowed. "What's going on? Is everything all right?"

"Yes! Yes!"

"Excellent!" the Doctor exclaimed.

"Not you," Ianto hissed at him. "Peter, everything's all right. I'll be one minute." He ripped out his com unit and threw it on the passenger's seat. "I still don't understand. How are Jack and the universe in trouble?"

"Oh, are you talking to me now?" the Doctor said sardonically.

Ianto huffed and rolled his eyes.

"I can explain on the way."

"Are you afraid if you tell me now that I won't come?"

"Yes."

Ianto scrubbed his hands over his jaw. "I can't make a decision like this right now. I have things to take care of." He started the car and put both hands on the wheel, but didn't pull away.

"If you decide to come, meet me at Cardiff Bay Station tomorrow at midnight," the Doctor said. "It'll give you time to put things in order."

"And if I don't, what will happen?"

"I really don't know that."

"You can't tell me or you really don't know?"

"I really don't know. When it comes to Jack Harkness, anything could happen."

Ianto pulled away, but slammed on the brakes, stuck his head out the window, and yelled, "Doctor, if I want to come back and ask you to retcon me, will you?"

"Do you really want that?"

"I may."

"I promise, Ianto. I'll take away all memories of it, if that's what you want or there's a third option."

"What's that?"

"You could travel with me."

~ ~ ~

Ianto and Sayru stood quietly gazing at the alien through the glass cell door. The alien glared back at them, not blinking.

Without warning, Peter's voice on the intercom burst through the silence. "Ianto, there are people in the tourist office looking for you."

The alien growled and retreated to the corner, pressing its back against the wall.

"I'll be right there."

The tourist office had changed little in the eighteen years since Ianto had been with Torchwood. Once, Alfie had taken down the beaded curtain, and Ianto had thrown a fit, dug it out of the rubbish bin, and put it back in its proper place. After Alfie died, Ianto had insisted that all Torchwood operatives took turns doing administrative tasks. They rotated manning the office, as well as fetching food, and making coffee.

Peter was standing at the counter with his gun hidden behind it, cocked and ready to use. A young girl stood in the centre of the room flanked by two very large, bald men in long black coats. Ianto wondered if bald men were simply attracted to the job of body guard or if body guards simply shaved their head for a more menacing look. If it was the latter, which logic told him that it was, he agreed that it was a very effective practice.

The young girl looked the model of pure innocence. She wore a long white Victorian era lace dress. Her long brown hair was pulled off her face by a satin blue ribbon, and her shoes were black patent leather.   
It was the first time that he had ever seen her, but he knew that this was the girl he had read about in both the official Torchwood archives and the special book for Torchwood Leaders.

"Hello, Mr Jones," she said.

"Hello," he said. "You seem to know who I am, but, forgive me, I don't know who you are."

"Yes, you do. You just don't know my name. No one does."

"Jack called you Lily."

She blinked in an odd way, slow and methodical. "Why would he do that? That's not my name."

"He thought it was rude to you refer to you as _'that creepy little girl.'_ "

She giggled and it sent an eerily shiver down Ianto's spine. "The Captain always amused me. Lily - I like that. You can call me Lily. But…" She turned her piercing stare to Peter. "Only you… and the Captain, of course."

Ianto looked at Peter and jerked his head towards the door leading back to the Hub.

Peter eyed the two bodyguards. "Are you sure?"

Ianto nodded and Peter left, but Ianto knew he was right behind the door, and obviously so did Lily. She stared at it until Ianto went over, jerked it open, and assured Peter that he'd be all right.

He returned to stand directly in front of her, purposely not looking at her guards and only at her.

"Your eyes are a much prettier blue in person," she said, capturing Ianto's eyes with her mesmerizing gaze. "Blue is my favourite colour. The Captain's eyes are blue too, but not as pretty as yours."

"In person? You've seen me not 'in person' before?"

"Many, many times over the years, even before you were born."

"I'm assuming your visit so soon after the Doctor's isn't a coincidence."

"There is no such thing as a coincidence," she responded.

"Right. Is there something that I can do for you, then?"

"The Captain owes me a favour."

"And you want me to deliver him your request?"

"No. I want you to repay it."

Ianto raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. "How?"

"Go with the Time Lord to the Captain."

"Is that a request or a demand?"

"Neither."

"Shouldn't you already know what I'm going to do?"

"I do."

Ianto knew better than to ask what he was going to do. She wouldn't tell him. Instead, he asked, "Then why bother to come at all?"

"Because I was part of the plan."

"Whose plan?"

"I don't know. It's only the path that I see."

"Then you know what Jack is going to do?"

"When it comes to the Captain, I don't know."

"No," Ianto said, shaking his head. "Jack told me that you read his cards. Jack said that you knew his future."

"I knew _the_ future, not _his_ future. I can see the Captain in the future because other people exist around him. I can see their futures as a result of his actions. I can see him in their futures, but I can never see _his_ future because he has none."

"Bloody hell that's –"

"Language," the body guard on Lily's right scolded.

Ianto ignored him. "Everyone who exists has a future!"

"The Captain survives only in history, not the future."

"I don't understand."

She stared at Ianto for a moment, blinking so slow that Ianto could almost believe that he heard a click in his head each time her eyelids descended. "Jack isn't on a path because he doesn't exist. He is an alternate universe within this one and our universe cannot accept him as existing; therefore, he doesn't."

Ianto felt saddened by the thought of Jack trying to exist when the world itself didn't want him to. "That's… that's just cruel. Why can't it just accept that Jack is alive and get on with it?"

Lily's tiny lips curved into a smile. "Of course, it would be hard for you to understand. You just need to understand that you can set it right again."

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to set right."

"Yes. You do. You have to set our Captain right."

"What if I don't?"

"They'll be nothing."

"Nothing?"

"When I see forward, I only see nothing."

"For whose future? Mine? Yours? The Doctor's?"

"Everyone's."

~ ~ ~

"You're going?" Martha asked.

Ianto shifted the phone to his other ear. "I don't know. I think so. I just don't know if I'll be back."

"You won't," she said confidently.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know Jack and the Doctor and you won't be back."

"You came back."

"I'm not you."

"What does that mean?"

"Remember what you told me about feeling off the last few years?"

"Yeah."

"It's because you're not supposed to be here. You belong somewhere else. And that off feeling was your gut, Ianto. Your instincts knew it. You're just figuring it out now."

~ ~ ~

"Ianto!" Alan ran through the front yard with his younger brother, Geoffrey, chasing behind him. "You came! You came to my birthday party!"

"Of course, I did," Ianto said, patting Alan on his back. "It's not every day you turn ten."

The boys babbled incessantly, over each other as well, trying to fit in everything exciting that had happened to them since the last time that they had seen Ianto. They followed him into the house, one on each side of him, retelling the tale of the recent tragedy that had befallen their pet turtles. When they stepped inside, Alan yelled, "Da, Ianto's here!"

Rhys stepped out of the kitchen. He wore an apron that said, _'Burnt to Perfection,'_ and a huge grin. He weaved and dodged through a slew of children to get to Ianto.

"Ianto, mate, it's good to see you."

"Hey, Rhys."

They patted each other on the back in their customary manly greeting.

"Ianto!" Gemma, Rhys's wife, walked out of the kitchen with her arms extended wide. When she reached Ianto, she stood on the tips of toes to greet him with a hug. "Are you alone?"

"Don't you start," Rhys said warningly, but with a domestic playfulness shared only between partners.

Gemma started to respond, but a crash followed by a child's scream, distracted her. "Oh, bugger," she said, running off to the kitchen.

"Let's escape," Rhys said. After a stop off in the kitchen to grab two bottles of ale, he led Ianto outside to the garden, which was decorated with paper lanterns, fairy lights, and blue and white balloons. He popped open the bottles, handed one to Ianto, and slumped down in a wood folding chair that looked like it had come from IKEA. "I'm knackered. The wife had me dashing around all week getting ready for this thing."

The back door flew open, banging against the wall. A train of children, looking like they ranged in ages from six to twelve, ran into the garden and back into the house again, squealing and laughing. Rhys yelled after them to behave. He was trying to sound and look annoyed, but Ianto saw the joy in his eyes. This was the life that Rhys had always wanted, and Ianto was thrilled for him. Rhys's life had always given Ianto a sense of comfort and security, knowing that someone that he cared about had a normal life that Ianto would never know.

The garden had changed a lot since Ianto had last been there. The plastic toddler playthings had been replaced with a wooden swing set. The ground around the fence was lined with bright flowers in various states of bloom. Ianto pointed at a massive barbeque grill built into brick in the corner. "That's cool."

Rhys beamed with pride. "Yeah. I built it myself."

"It's brilliant, mate. Do you use it a lot?"

"Loads." Rhys patted his stomach. "Gemma says that I need to lay off the steak. Can't help myself though."

Ianto smiled and sipped his beer. Rhys leaned forward in his chair, looking serious. "You look… something you want to talk about?"

"I… I'm going away."

"For how long?"

"I don't know. Maybe for good. Or I could come back and not remember where I'd been, so if I don't mention it…"

Rhys sat back, frowning. "You'll let me know, if you decide not to come back, that you're all right?"

"I don't know if I'll able to… maybe through Martha."

"Will it be your choice not to come back?"

"Yes. Unless I die."

Rhys frown deepened. "Bastard Torchwood. I don't like the sound of this."

"Don't worry too much. I'll be in good hands."

"Whose?"

"It's a long story."

"You mean you can't tell me."

"It's for your own good."

Rhys's face reddened. "I hate that, Ianto. You know that."

"I know. I… I just need you to understand one last time, mate."

Maybe it was something in Ianto's voice or in his face or both, but Rhys relaxed. "So, you can't tell me where you're going, who you're going with, when or if you'll be back, or why you're going in the first place… and I can't mention it to anyone – that about right?"

"That's right."

"Look at me. After all these years, I'm finally getting it."

Ianto grinned and raised his bottle. Rhys raised his and they clinked them together. "You've got it."

"Is there a chance you'll be happier in this place that you're going?"

"I don't know."

Rhys chuckled. "It's good to know that I'm not the only clueless one."

Ianto reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. He handed it to Rhys. "I set-up an account for the boys, for their future." Rhys tried to object, but Ianto wouldn't let him. "Don't argue with me. It's there and I won't need it where I'm going. If you don't use it, then it'll go to waste."

"You're talking like you know that you're not coming back."

"I reckon you're right. I've made up my mind. Things… things haven't felt right for a long time… _here_. I'm pressing my luck with time. I'm forty-two and..." He stopped himself. Rhys knew exactly how old most Torchwood members lived to be.

"You don't have to do this. I know you've done it for other people. You can leave it all behind. Meet a nice... um, person and settle down."

"It's not the life for me."

Rhys glanced at the door. "I love Gemma and the boys. You know that, right?" Ianto nodded. "But every day – every single bloody day – I think of _her_ and I miss her. Sometimes, when it gets too hard to fight, I wonder what could've been if only she'd left and..." He shook his head. "No use dwelling in the past, eh?"

"No," Ianto said, thinking of his own past that he was about to face in a few hours. "But… I don't think things could've been different. If she had been different, you might not have loved and adored her so much."

Rhys nodded solemnly. "Before you leave I have a few things that I have to say."

"Rhys, you don't."

"I do. You've been a good mate all these years, Ianto. And I know you could've… made me forget all of the pain. I wanted to thank you for not doing that. Thank you. There were times – many, many times that I bloody well hated you for it, but you did the right thing."

"What about you-know-who? Have you forgiven him?"

"I'm not that healthy, mate… still hate that bloody bastard."

~ ~ ~

Leaving without giving his team some sort of explanation had never been an option in Ianto's mind. After over almost two decades, he could still remember how abandoned they had all felt when Jack left without a word.

What to tell them proved to be a more difficult decision. So he kept it at a higher level, only mentioning the Doctor, but not Jack. He didn't know why, but for some reason, he felt like he had to protect Jack.

He talked to Sayru first, turning over leadership to her. She listened intently and only asked questions after Ianto was finished.

"The Doctor didn't say what you had to do? He didn't give any more details."

"He's not the sharing kind."

"Are you're certain that you'll be safe with him? I've read the files…"

"Not any less safe than I am running this place."

"Too true," she said. "How long should I wait before I assume that you're not coming back?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"It won't take long then, will it?"

"It could take hours, days, months – I don't know. But the Doctor he can return me to anytime. I'll ask him to bring me back in the morning. I may be retconned though."

She drummed her fingers on the desk. "If you don't come back, we'll say that you're missing in action. That way if you decided to come back and, you must come back later, it'll make more sense. You could age too much if you're gone long."

Ianto had no doubt that he had made the right decision to hand Torchwood over to her. She was utterly brilliant.

"For a year... the procedures are clear," he said. "All MIAs must be listed as deceased within a year."

He got up from his chair and walked around to hug her. She hugged him back; the book Ianto had bequeathed her still clutched in her hand. He counted on her not letting it go until she had absorbed all of the information.

"One more thing," Ianto said, indicating her to sit down. He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a file. He placed it in front of her, but placed his hand on top of it so she couldn't open it yet. "I know you've been wondering why I invited Tim to our team."

"Yeah. You could say that," she said, not trying to hide her contempt.

"This is Owen Harper's file."

She gaped at him. "Harper? I didn't put it together! Are they related?"

"Yes. Tim is his half-brother. He doesn't know about Owen."

"He doesn't know that he was a Torchwood operative."

"That – yes. But he doesn't even know that he had an older brother."

"Bloody hell. That's why you…?"

"Yes. Tim's just a bit lost, but he has what it takes to do this work. I'm certain of it. Don't try to change him, just try to shift his hostility towards something more productive and he'll be brilliant."

"Okay, Ianto."

He lifted his hand from the file. "Share this with him. He needs to know that his brother was a hero."

"Oh, Ianto…" Her voice cracked. It was the first time Ianto had seen her so emotional. She jumped up and hugged him again tightly. "I will miss you."

~ ~ ~

Ianto hugged Peter. "Make sure everyone eats," he whispered in his ear.

"I will."

"You're… er, not angry… I mean, we were just having a spot of fun, right?"

Peter pulled away, ran his fingers through the sides of Ianto's hair, and pulled him forward for a kiss. As far as farewell kisses went, and Ianto had had his share of them, it was a solid eight out of ten.

"Just a spot of fun – yeah," Peter said. "But I'll miss it just the same."

~ ~ ~

Tim frowned. "Sayru's in charge?"

"Don't give her a hard time," Ianto said warningly. "She can… what's it you kids say, _'make you her bitch?'_ "

"Sorry, mate," Peter chimed in. "No one has said that in, um, sixteen or seventeen years."

But Tim got the idea and rolled his eyes. "Doubt it."

Ianto grabbed Tim's hand and shook it firmly. "Take care of yourself, Tim Harper. I expect great things from you."


	4. Chapter 4

Ianto sat on his suitcase at the main entrance of the Cardiff Bay rail station when he heard a sound that was perfectly paired with the air whirling around him. He checked his watch; it was exactly midnight when the blue police box appeared. The Doctor opened the door and hung out of it. He swung it open wide when Ianto stood, lifted his belongings and stepped inside.

"Well… say it," the Doctor said dryly.

"Say what?"

"It's bigger on the inside."

"Well, obviously. You and your companions would go mad crammed into a ship the size of a police box."

"Right. Obviously."

The Doctor trotted to the console, giving Ianto a chance to look around. He tried not to look too awe-struck. It had always been a secret, unspoken dream of his to get a glimpse inside.

The whirling sound that he had heard when it approached started again. This was it. He was about to travel away from his home to not only another planet, but another time. Surprisingly, his panic consisted of only one pang in his stomach, a quick tick of his breath, and then it disappeared. There was something peaceful about the TARDIS, a dull hum that seemed to soothe Ianto's nerves.

He dropped his suitcase and wandered over to where the Doctor stood. "Is it okay if I look around? I won't touch anything."

"I wouldn't advise touching anything. But go on – a look's all right."

Ianto put his hands inside of his pockets and peered at the various consoles and monitors. None of it made sense, but it looked intriguing.

"I have a question," Ianto said. "When you left me the last time, did you travel straight to Cardiff Bay station and meet me tonight?"

"Yes."

"How long did it take you?"

The Doctor tapped a few keys and looked at a monitor. "It says here that it took fifty-three minutes. It should have been less, but there was a little hitch in the Vortex. Happens sometimes."  
Ianto refrained himself from blurting out, _'Wow!'_ Time-travelling was perhaps the most fascinating thing that Ianto had ever attempted to wrap his head around. Eighteen years in a life that other people only got to live through movies and books, and something still amazed him, and the fact that he could still be amazed was what amazed him the most.

The TARDIS jerked and Ianto bumped into the Doctor. "Er, sorry."

The Doctor held his arms out and helped Ianto regain his balance. "That happens sometimes, too."

Ianto straightened up, found what looked like a safe spot on the console, and leaned his backside against it. He wrapped his fingers around the edge, preparing to hang on if they hit another bumpy patch. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. You said that you'd explain more."

"I'm going to do even better than that. I'm going to show you."

"Really?"

"Yes. Once we're in the planet's orbit."

"I knew there was a catch."

"There always is," the Doctor said. "I can tell you how I found Jack, and then I'll show you what happened once I did."

"All right."

The Doctor worked the controls, stalking back and forth around the console. Ianto's eyes followed him as he spoke. "He was always one step ahead of me. I would get a lead on him, but when I'd get there, he'd be gone. I was starting to think he was intentionally avoiding me. Not good for my ego, mind you.

"The more places that I visited, the more I started to put the pieces of the puzzle together." He stopped fiddling with the controls; something Ianto was beginning to suspect wasn't really necessary, but rather something to keep the Doctor's hands busy. He stood very still and looked very serious. "Jack had to be close to falling apart. In every place I went, the people would tell me stories – tragic stories… over and over… so much death. So much loss."

"How long? How long had it been for him?"

"I don't know. A century at least… or maybe more."

" _Jesus_ … I-I still don't understand." _'That's an understatement,'_ Ianto thought. "Why you can't just stop it all? If you knew where he was, just go back and get him while you know that he's there!"

"Because I can't," the Doctor said, sounding frustrated. "Because I just can't. But I'm doing this and it's the best that I've got."

Ianto didn't respond. He was still turning over three hundred and nine years in his mind and adding what he expected Jack's life span was before he had left them in Cardiff.

"It was foolish of me, really – not to think of it before," the Doctor continued. "Jack's a sentimental fool. Always was. So, I began looking for him in the one place where he'd really ever felt like he belonged."

The Doctor looked at Ianto as if waiting for Ianto to catch up. Ianto thought for a moment. "Earth?"

The Doctor nodded.

Ianto added, "Cardiff."

"Yes. Cardiff."

"We're back to Cardiff… I left Cardiff and we're going back to when…?"

"Twenty-two thousand and forty-two."

Ianto wasn't completely caught up. "Why though? Why did he go there?"

"To destroy everything."

The statement hung in the air and even the comfort that Ianto had felt from the TARDIS couldn't protect him any longer from the dread of the situation.

"I don't believe it… not Jack. No. He wouldn't. He protects the universe. Not destroys it. No. Just no."

"He's not the same person he was when he left you. He's suffered immensely. So much that he's forgotten that not everything ends in pain."

"How do you know he'll even remember me? You said he's been gone for centuries…"

"I'm certain of it. One of the universe's little jokes on Captain Jack is that he has a substantial memory when it comes to people. Remembers everyone. Every face. Every feeling that he had for them."

"Lily said that the universe wouldn't accept him."

"Who's Lily?"

"Little girl in Cardiff. Psychic. At least a century old."

"Oh… _her_. She's right. Like a dog with a flea, the universe tries to shake Jack off."

"And Jack's fighting back." Now, that Ianto could believe and understand, however misguided. "You want me to save... you want me to stop Jack from destroying the universe."

The Doctor waved his hand dismissively. "No. I already took care of that. I need you to save Jack."

"You already…! What are you trying to pull here? You told me that I had to save the universe."

"You do. It's just not in immediate danger at this exact second. I stopped Jack – this time."

The ship jerked again. Ianto braced himself this time.

"We're here!" the Doctor declared.

"We're going to Jack?"

"No."

"You're saying that a lot. It's starting to tick me off."

"I can't touch down just yet." The Doctor pushed Ianto out of the way and started to twist knobs. "I'm still there with Jack. I can't cross timelines. This part has already happened. So, while we wait..." The Doctor tapped a button in a very ceremonious fashion and the monitor directly in front of Ianto flickered and an image came on the screen. "Time-Space Visualiser," he said proudly.

Ianto leaned down and forward until his face was a few inches away from the monitor. "Jack…" He could see the Doctor's back and he had a full view of Jack, who was pointing his Webley revolver directly at the Doctor. Under other circumstances, Ianto would've been greatly amused that Jack had held on to the gun for so long.

Jack's hair was long and scraggly. The shirt and trousers he wore were a depressing grey made even gloomier by the streaks and spots of caked on dirt. It made Ianto feel ill.

"Where's the sound?" Ianto shouted. "I can't hear anything!"

"Sorry. I was fiddling with…" The Doctor slammed the side of his fist on the back of the monitor. "It the other day. Too much time…" He slammed it again, harder. "On my hands." He slammed it at the same time as he kicked something beneath them and suddenly Jack's voice filled the room.

 _'Don't, Doctor. Just leave me alone.'_

 _'This isn't you, Jack. You can't do this!'_

 _'It's the only way.'_

 _'It's not. You don't know if this will stop it. You could go on. Alone.'_

 _'It doesn't matter! I'm alone now! At least this way… I have a chance.'_

 _'It does matter. Jack… Jack, my old friend, you won't only destroy the universe now – you'll destroy it all.'_

 _Jack faltered. His shaky hand lowered the gun slightly. 'I don't care.'_

 _'Everything. Everything you've ever loved. History all of it will be gone.'_

As the Doctor spoke he kept looking at the… "That's the rift manipulator!" Ianto pointed frantically at the monitor. "He went back to the Hub!"

"He's been down there for two years."

Ianto reached out and ran his fingers along the screen. "How'd you turn into this?"

 _Jack lowered the gun even more, and the Doctor took a cautious step forward, his hands up in the air in a surrender pose._

 _'All of it…' the Doctor said. 'All of the people that you loved...'_

 _Jack's arm shot up, pointing the gun forward again. 'I'm doing it for them, too! So, they don't have to suffer!'_

 _'Not all of them suffered. All of those people… all of the people that you saved, they'll all just vanish like none of it ever happened. None of it, Jack.'_

 _'I can't… I can't do it anymore. I don't know how to.'_

 _'The people that you loved, think of them, Jack – remember them. They will all be gone… as if they never existed.'_

 _Jack dropped the gun, fell to his knees, and sobbed into his hands. The Doctor kicked the gun out of the way and ran to the rift manipulator. Soon the greenish white light pulsing through the centre of it up to the surface slowed to a stop._

 _The Doctor finished and knelt down in front of Jack. Jack looked up. 'The darkness, Doctor. It's here all the time now. Not just when I die. I think it's them. All of the ones that died because of me… they're trying to bring me to the other side, but I can't go… I want to go, but… I can't go…'_

 _'Jack, let me…' The Doctor put his hands on the side of Jack's head, his thumbs resting on his forehead. 'Let me in… let me see…'_

 _Both of the men closed their eyes, they're faces flinching sporadically. After a few minutes, the Doctor dropped his hands to his knees and stared at Jack until Jack opened his eyes. 'I'm so sorry, my friend. I'm so, so sorry.'_

 _The Doctor grabbed Jack's wrist, flipped open his wrist strap, and pointed his sonic screwdriver at it.  
Jack watched as he did it, his tear-stained face blank._

 _'I'm going to be right back,' the Doctor said. 'I promise. And I can't have you taking off again.'_

"This is it," the Doctor said.

Ianto heard the whirling and whooshing sound that indicated the arrival and departure of the TARDIS. He couldn't stop looking at Jack, so broken, so lost and different than the flamboyant man he had known and loved.

"I still don't know what to do. I don't know what he needs," Ianto said.

"You'll work it out."

The sound stopped and immediately started up again, this time live, as the TARDIS hummed and rocked.

"He's a bit…" The Doctor looked at the screen. "Let me go out there first. Ease him into this."

Before Ianto could ask what he should do, he watched the Doctor leave through the door and then appear on the screen.

 _'Where'd you go?' Jack said softly._

 _'Why did you leave Hathorari before I came to get you?'_

 _'I told you when we…' Jack paused as realisation dawned on his face. 'Oh… that was a later you.'_

 _The Doctor nodded. 'Must've been.'_

 _'I… I found something to fight for.'_

 _'Is that it, Jack? You forgot what you're fighting for?'_

 _Jack shook his head. 'No… we were there, Doctor! We both know the end of the universe is inevitable! And it's dark and it's lonely… everyone's alone…' Jack stood, looking angry again. 'We're all just cosmic jokes and I'm the fucking punch line.'_

 _The Doctor stepped forward and put his hands on Jack's shoulders. 'That's not true, Jack, and you know it. Deep down inside, you still know it.'_

 _'I don't. What has the universe ever given me? What do I owe the universe?'_

 _'The universe might think it doesn't owe you anything, but the worlds in it, all of the worlds that you saved, the innocent people that you gave life and happiness to while sacrificing your own peace – they all owe you. You deserve a gift, Captain Jack Harkness, for all your years of loyal service. And I'm going to give it to you.'_

 _'Give me what?'_

 _'A gift.'_

 _The two men stood there in silence, Jack looking more and more confused._

 _'A gift,' the Doctor said louder. 'I've brought you a gift… a gift for you.' The Doctor let go of Jack and turned around, facing the camera, and waved at it. 'Hello, that's your cue!'_

Ianto jumped to attention. There was a part of him that wanted to run out the door and into Jack's arms driven from the longing for his lover that Ianto had buried for sixteen years, but was always still there, trapped in his soul. Ianto refocused and, like he had done so often over the years, compartmentalised his feelings. This was just another task that he had to do to save the universe.

He went to the door, rubbed his shaking hands together, trying to steady them, and stepped out.

The Doctor rolled his eyes at him. "It's about time."

"I didn't know we had planned on a dramatic entrance," Ianto said.

"Doesn't matter now. You ruined it," The Doctor replied, but Ianto barely heard him. He was looking passed the Doctor at Jack. Their eyes had met. And any doubt that Jack would remember him had vanished.

Jack wordlessly mouthed his name. Ianto nodded.

"No…" Jack said quietly. "No… this can't…" He looked back and forth between the Doctor and Ianto. "I've gone completely mad – haven't I?"

"No…" the Doctor said. "Well, yes, but this is real."

"This can't be… you wouldn't…" He backed up, waving his finger at the Doctor. "I know how you operate! You wouldn't do this… he shouldn't be here!"

"He's here," the Doctor said simply.

"I don't deserve this… I don't deserve…" Jack kept repeating it until his back hit a broken slab of wall and he slid down it to the ground. "I don't…"

Ianto ran forward, his concern for the universe gone and replaced with only one thing, his instinctive desire to be there for Jack.

He reached Jack and knelt down, grabbing Jack's wrists when Jack put up his hands to keep him away.

"Stop saying that," Ianto said.

Jack's eyes roamed over his face so intently that Ianto felt himself begin to blush.

"You're hurt," he said, staring at the fresh stitches on Ianto's forehead.

"It's nothing."

"You've aged." Jack reached up and slid his index fingers through the sides of Ianto's hair. "You're grey." His fingers skimmed along the corners of Ianto's eyes where Ianto knew the flesh there showed too many worry lines.

"It's been sixteen years. I'm forty-two now."

"Forty-two…" Jack said distantly.

Ianto noticed that Jack had aged as well. The grainy picture on the monitor hadn't shown the wrinkles or the grey that peppered his hair. It wasn't exactly centuries of aging, but it was different.

"How long has it been for you? How long, Jack?"

"I don't know… I lost count." He looked away. "Why did you come?"

"Because the Doctor said that you were in trouble."

Jack dropped his eyes. "Did he tell you… what I was going to…?"

"I know."

"You must think I'm –"

Ianto took Jack's face in his hands and forced him to meet his eyes. "I think you're just a bit lost."

"Just a bit… _lost_." Jack laughed a hollow laugh. "Lost! You don't understand what I was going to do – you couldn't or you wouldn't be here."

"I understand perfectly. It's not that difficult. You told the Doctor that you were going to use that," Ianto gestured towards the rift manipulator, "to suck up time and space. But I know that you wouldn't have. _You_ knew that you wouldn't. You knew the Doctor would find you and stop you. He said you've been down here for two years. I know you, Jack, it didn't take you two years to figure how to work it out."

"I couldn't find the key," Jack whispered.

Ianto looked around. Centuries ago he had called this place home. It was now unrecognisable to him. The office equipment was gone. The walls had crumbled into heaps of rock. "Well, this place is a mess… but it still wouldn't take you that long to find it."

"I… I knew he'd… but _you_ … not you. Why… Doctor, why did you bring him here?"

"Tell him," the Doctor said. "Tell him what happened."

Jack looked horrified. "No… why?"

"Jack, tell him. Tell him what happened."

Jack blinked a few times until tears welled up in his eyes. He rubbed them away roughly. "They died… she died. I murdered them."

"Who, Jack?" Ianto asked.

"My wife… and our children. They were hers – she was a widow. But I loved them like they were mine. She was so beautiful… so caring." He swallowed hard and the muscles in his jaw flinched. "A planetary war broke out. Our home wasn't safe anymore. I conned our way onto a refugee ship to Atriosian. I didn't know the Atriosianians were protecting top war officials from our planet. The pilot… the pilot was a terrorist. We were preparing to land when suddenly the main cabin started filling with poisonous gas. I got most of the passengers into the back cargo area and sealed it off. There were some causalities, but I thought the rest would be safe in there. It was a suicide mission. The pilot was dead from the gas when I got into the cockpit. I wasn't… I didn't know the technology... but I knew enough to know that it was on autopilot and heading straight for Atriosian. It didn't make sense – it was only a ship – what damage could it do? Then I realised… the cargo area… something had to be in… the fucking cargo area was filled with radiation bombs. If the ship hit the planet, there'd be mass –"

"Devastation," Ianto whispered.

"Upon impact. I did everything that I could, but – but I couldn't get the ship to change course. Everything… I tried… but I had to stop it. The ship was descending so fast. I… I couldn't bring them into the main cabin because of the gas… I had to…"

"Oh, god, Jack…" Ianto breathed.

"Once the cargo area was dislodged from the rest of the ship the air supply would be cut off. But it was the only… it was –"

"Death by gas, impact, or lack of oxygen." Ianto grabbed Jack's hands. "You had no choice. They were going to die either way. You had no choice."

"I said good-bye to her through the window… it was so small – I couldn't see the children. She didn't understand. She begged me to do something… to save her – save the children. She didn't… understand. I saw it in her eyes - she died hating me." Jack let out a fractured sob.

"You had to do it," Ianto said quickly. "I would've done the same thing. They were going to die either way. I'm so sorry, but they were going to die either way. You saved an entire planet."

"It didn't matter… it didn't matter… I killed them and everyone still died."

"What it didn't stop the -"

"It did," Jack said. "But I… I felt sorry for myself and I wasn't there… I wasn't there when the terrorists sent another attack. I was drunk in a bar. I woke up and everyone was gone - dead. It didn't matter… I murdered them and they died for nothing."

"Jack, listen to me. Jack, look at me. You can't save everyone. You didn't know. You did what you had to do. You can't save _everyone_. You're only one man." Ianto leaned forward to embrace Jack, but Jack got to him first, grabbing Ianto's lapels and yanking him forward. Ianto wrapped one arm around Jack's neck and the other around his chest until his hands met on Jack's back. "I'm here." Jack's face nestled into Ianto's neck, his tears rolling down Ianto's skin and soaking the collar of his best shirt.

They sat like that for a long time. Jack's sobs eventually stopped, but his grip on Ianto's jacket never loosened. Ianto tried to pull away to talk to him, but Jack clung to him even harder.

"Jack?" Ianto said, rubbing Jack's back tenderly. "Jack, it's going to be all right. Let's get into the TARDIS. Jack?" Ianto tried to shift off his knees which were beginning to ache against the stone floor. "This is getting a bit uncomfortable. Jack? Er, Doctor… help."

The Doctor ran over, knelt down next to Jack, and put his arm around his shoulders. "Come on, Jack. We have to go." The Doctor tried to get him to stand, but Jack wouldn't budge. "I think he's gone into shock."

"Brilliant," Ianto said snippily, shifting a little to relieve some of the pressure on his knees. "Jack, this is… he's like dead weight!"

"Let's try to move you to a more comfortable position," the Doctor said.

Jack wouldn't let go with his hands, but he allowed the Doctor to manoeuvre his lower body and legs, until eventually Ianto was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. Ianto's legs were spread wide with Jack curled up between them. Once settled, Ianto put his arms back around Jack and Jack snuggled in closer.

The Doctor sat next to Ianto.

Ianto sighed. "He always was an extremist."

"Just a bit," the Doctor agreed.

"How long do you think he'll stay like this?"

"I really have no idea. His reaction makes sense though."

"How do you mean?"

"They believed in attachment and touch bonding on the Boeshane Peninsula."

"Attachment and touch bonding?"

The Doctor explained, "For the first three years of Jack's life, he was probably being touched constantly by someone in his family. They would've taken turns holding and cuddling him. The child is never left alone."

"That explains _a lot_."

"It does – doesn't it?"

"So, this is some sort of regression."

"Yes. That… and I suspect that he's happy to see you."

Ianto snorted. "I'm not used to this sort of touch though. Back in the day, Jack would've shown his happiness in a much different fashion. Oh… wait…" Ianto put his hand on Jack's crotch. "Never mind. Shock or not, it's the same ol' Jack."

The Doctor's laughter echoed through the empty Hub.

~ ~ ~

"You would've loved Tammy, Jack. She was the female version of you. She loved Torchwood. It was the first time where her intelligence was more important than her appearance. I let her keep her memories after her spine snapped. She was still an asset, even in a wheelchair. She was never an official member again, but she consulted for us and UNIT often.

"Alfie was the hardest lost. He reminded me of myself when I first joined Torchwood – One not Three. I thought he'd toughen up. Maybe it's because he didn't have someone like you to… mentor him. I don't know. But when the alien got into his head, he couldn't fight it. Peter found him hanging from a rope in his flat. Peter... he was there for me in the aftermath of that, constantly telling me there was nothing that I could've done to prevent it. He was a good friend, just like… I didn't tell you about Ellie – did I? Probably 'cos I was a right twat. I thought it was casual… all right, _maybe_ , I knew she felt more and I just ignored it. Eventually, she accepted a position with UNIT and left me.

"You were right about Mickey too. Though it wasn't his intention to leave exactly. He jumped into an alternate universe to save ours from colliding with it. I don't know what happened to him, but I'm certain he's doing just fine. He was a survivor."

"He is."

Ianto startled; he had thought the Doctor was sleeping and not listening to his therapeutic purging.

"He got back to our universe, but pretty far ahead in the future."

"Really? He's okay?"

"Doing great. Took him a while to readjust, I imagine. But when I saw him he was the same old Mickey. He found a girl – that's why he declined my offer to take him home."

"Good for him," Ianto said and went back to the idle stroking of Jack's hair.

"There was Marcia too. She was Tammy's replacement. Only lasted a few days shy of seven months. It was a cephalopod species – came out of the bay and snatched a few tourists. One of its tentacles snapped her neck before we could even shout at her to get out of the way. That hurt after just losing Joseph. Joseph! I forgot about him. Were you… yeah, you knew him. He started dipping into the pharmacy. I tried to get him help through a program that UNIT offered, but he only cleaned up for a while before he started showing up for work glassy-eyed again. I retconned him and put him back in a rehabilitation centre. He's been clean since.

"Neil replaced him. That bastard! I read him wrong. He was in it for the glory and, when he found out there wasn't any, he decided to go and get it. Sold a bunch of pictures to one of those trashy gossip websites and the story got picked up by the more serious papers. I had to pump bloody retcon into the water supply and pay off a few media outlets to run a story convincing everyone the others were a fake."

"How are you feeling?" the Doctor asked.

"I have to pee and I lost all feeling in my legs and arse about two hours ago, but other than that I'm right as rain."

"Hungry? I have some biscuits in the TARDIS."

"Starving."

Ianto watched with envy as the Doctor stood and stretched. He continued babbling, "I left Sayru in charge. Oh, you would adore her, Jack. It was like she was born and bred for the work. She found Peter. Peter's a good bloke. Solid. Loyal. Brave. Gorgeous. An ex-footballer with strong legs and an arse that –"

The Doctor cleared his throat.

"Sorry," Ianto mumbled. "And… you're going to love this story. I found Owen's younger brother, Tim. It was purely an accident." The Doctor returned and held out a plate of biscuits. Ianto thanked him and devoured three before continuing. "Tim's only twenty, and he was running around with a bad bunch of aliens, who were doing all sort of illegal things. I don't think Tim understood half of what was going on. The most serious was alien weapons trafficking. We rounded them up and brought them in. We took blood samples for the files and that's when I found the match on Owen's DNA. I dug into his history and found out they had the same bastard father abandon them. We were at full staff, but I invited him in. He just needed someone to believe in him, just like Owen – well, just like the rest of us did. I hope he doesn't give Sayru too hard of a time or she'll kill him."

"You should be commended, Ianto," the Doctor said. "You survived much longer than most members of Torchwood."

Ianto inwardly beamed with pride, outwardly he simply shrugged. "It was tough at first. In the beginning, I would just ask myself what would Jack do or say in this situation and then do it. It worked and got me through the first few years."

"I'm sure there was a part of you that came out as well."

"I reckon eventually it did. Things got easier _and_ harder as time went on."

"It always does."

Ianto yawned. "How long do you reckon he can stay like this?"

"I really don't know."

"We could shoot him – move him when he's… hey, don't look at me like that! I was joking! I always hated when he died. Owen used to think it was funny and write stuff on his face. The rest of us never got used to it."

Ianto yawned again.

"Why don't you try to sleep? You look exhausted."

"Yeah. I'm suddenly…" He kissed the top of Jack's head, earning a pleased humming sound, and hugged Jack tighter. "Maybe I'll just close my eyes for a bit."


	5. Chapter 5

Ianto woke alone on the TARDIS on a tiny camp bed with no recollection of how he'd gotten there, every muscle in his body stiff and sore. He groaned as he swung his legs off the bed. He still wore trousers and a thin cotton vest, but all other clothing had been removed and placed neatly over his suitcase that sat next to the bed. He called out for Jack and the Doctor. When no reply came, he dressed quickly and stepped in the main room of the TARDIS, surprised not to find anyone there either.

He looked at the circular unit that operated the TARDIS. Various monitors had been turned on. The majority of them didn't make much sense, but one was perfectly clear and so disturbing that Ianto couldn't move. It was a 3-D version of Earth spinning on its invisible polar axis and freckled sparsely with red dots that the legend on the top of the screen stated represented "homo sapiens." Africa, Asia, and South America displayed only a few clusters of red dots. There were more dots in Europe and North America, but not nearly enough as Ianto thought there should be.

Bile rose in his throat, making him gag. Somewhere up above him was a near empty Earth… or was it. What else was out there that wasn't human? He didn't know.

"You're awake!" the Doctor's deep voice boomed through the TARDIS, but Ianto didn't move. He couldn't stop staring at the screen. "Excellent! How did you…? What are you looking at? Jack! Jack, get in here - _now_!"

"Hey, gorgeous, you're awake! I bet you really need a… what's going on? Oh, shit… Doctor, shut it off!" Jack's arm wrapped around Ianto's shoulder and tugged at him to move away from the monitor as the Doctor hit a button and the screen went black. "It's okay, Ianto. It's all right."

"What do you mean – it's all right?" Ianto shouted. "It's not _all fucking right!_ That's – that's not even a quarter of the Earth's population! Where did they go? Fuck – what happened to them?"

"The Daleks," the Doctor said quietly.

"No. Don't!" Jack hissed at the Doctor. "He doesn't need to know –"

"Yes, I do," Ianto said, jumping away from Jack. He turned to the Doctor, screaming, "Tell me! I want you to tell me."

The Doctor looked helplessly at Jack. Jack sighed, stepped forward and held Ianto's shoulders. "Are you certain that you want to hear this?"

"Yes," Ianto said stubbornly.

"All right… the Daleks invaded Earth."

"When?"

"In the mid twenty-second century. There was a plague first. It wiped out the majority of the population. Shortly after, they appeared and…"

"And what? What did those bastards do?

"They turned the survivors into slaves," Jack said sorrowfully.

"Fuck! Didn't anyone fight them?" Ianto pointed at Jack then the Doctor. "Where the hell were you two?"

"Hey, hey…" Jack said. "Some things just have to happen. The bastards are gone now. They ruled here for about a decade until rebel fighters rose up, and with the Doctor's help, defeated them. Humans survive, Ianto. They always do. Many of them were already living on colonies in other galaxies." Jack took Ianto's shaking hands into his own, squeezing them reassuringly. "Are you going to be all right?"

"Just tell me… please, I need to know… was Torchwood there? Were we ready?"

Unexpectedly, Jack pulled Ianto into a hug, this time letting Ianto cling to him, and he realised that Jack smelled clean and had put on fresh clothes.

"Yes," Jack said. "They were very much ready. It was just too much… too many. But if it wasn't for them, no one would've survived."

"The humans are rebuilding," the Doctor said. "Some returned from the colonies to help. Some of the cities are thriving again."

"I want to go up there."

Jack held Ianto at arm's length. "No. Absolutely not."

"Jack, I'm not a –"

"Listen to me. You don't want to… do something for me? Close your eyes. Don't roll your eyes – _close_ them. That's it. Remember the bay and what it looked like at dawn? You used to feed the ducks and swans every morning before you opened the tourist office. I watched you on the CCTV. You really fancied those swans – I always suspected you saved the best pastries for them. Now picture the way the sun used to shine off the water tower. You never walked by it without looking up to admire it." Jack chuckled. "Remember that one year for the summer festival there were those gigantic strawberries all over the tower?"

It hurt, but Ianto held on to the image of it, and eventually it made him smile. "You hated them – said they were obnoxious and cheesy."

"They were obnoxious and cheesy, but _you_ were over the moon about them."

Ianto opened his eyes and locked them on Jack. "I happen to like obnoxious and cheesy."

"That's what you want to remember," Jack said, tenderly running his finger along Ianto's cheek. "That's what I want you to remember."

"You're right."

"You still want to go up there?"

Ianto shook his head. "Um, can I…?" He looked at the door of the TARDIS, the Doctor, and finally back at Jack. "I just want to… I need to be alone for a bit."

They both nodded. Jack warned him to be careful as he stepped out of the TARDIS. He heard the Doctor whisper, "Are you sure he won't –" Jack cut him off, "He won't. He said he won't."

Pieces of the rift manipulator were scattered on the ground. The Doctor and Jack were obviously dismantling it while Ianto had slept. He walked around them and, using his instincts, walked towards the area where he knew the cog door had been. He was surprised to see it was still there. He ran his hands over it and used it as a guide to walk around the rubble and in his mind check off all the landmarks of the Hub that he had known, standing where each desk had stood and mentally reading off the names of his friends who had sat there over the years.

In the area where the sofa had been, he picked through the light and dark grey pieces of rock until he found a cracked piece of dirty white tile with a curve of black along the ragged edge. He didn't know what letter it had belonged to. It didn't matter. He put it in his pocket.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Doctor approaching.

"I was down here too long," Ianto said.

The Doctor stopped a few feet away and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He said nothing.

"I didn't see the world changing up above," Ianto continued. "I missed so much going on in the world. I only ran by it on the way to save it. But this place… the faces changed, but it stayed the same. It belonged to me and now it's gone."

"The Daleks couldn't get in here," the Doctor said. "The destruction came from time, rift quakes, and simple neglect."

"Where'd they go?"

"Torchwood?"

"Yeah."

"They had a solid legacy. They've never given up, and they're still around. Just not _here_."

It should have made Ianto feel better, but instead all of the fear and grief that had been swelling up inside of him since he had left Cardiff, crashed down on him. He stumbled to a nearby boulder, sat down, and hid his face in his hands as grieved for all of the people that he had lost over the years and all of the people that he loved and left behind to travel on this mad journey. He couldn't remember the last time that he had cried. Had it been in Peter's arms the night Alfie took his own life?

"I don't know why I'm here…" Ianto said very softly.

The Doctor sat next to him on the boulder, and they just sat there, shoulder-to-shoulder. Ianto held out his hands and turned them over. They were filthy and the knuckles scraped and bleeding from brushing against the rocks. He knew he didn't have his customary handkerchief in his pocket. He hadn't bothered getting one out of his suitcase. The Doctor pulled a white handkerchief out of his inside breast pocket, snapped it in the air, and held it out for Ianto to take.

"Thanks," Ianto said. He wiped his face before cleaning off his hands the best that he could. He folded it neatly and placed it on his knee. "Doctor, I need to know. Why did you bring me here? You had the situation under control. The universe wasn't in danger anymore. You didn't need me."

"Jack should be the one explaining," the Doctor said in sigh. "But it would take some soul-searching and a tad bit of self-awareness, and… well, I worry when Jack attempts to think, feel, and brood at the same time. Look what happens!"

Ianto and the Doctor shared a companionable chuckle.

"He seems to have recovered rather quickly," Ianto noted.

"Surprised? Jack's survival instincts are very strong."

"So, you didn't really need me?"

"The danger isn't over just because Jack put his mask back on and is strutting around like a peacock again. Jack needed – still does – something that only you can give him."

Ianto resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Please, don't tell me it's love. Because that's bullshite. Love can't save another person. Believe me, Doctor, I know. _I've tried_."

"You don't love him?" the Doctor asked, sounding shocked.

Unlike a normal lover trying to heal after being jilted, Ianto had never tried to fool himself into believing that he never loved Jack or that he had ever stopped. "No. I mean – yes. I do – I _do_."

"Good… it's not love though."

Ianto felt a surprising, irrational pang of disappointment and lashed out before he could stop himself. "How do you know?"

"Because I saw it all," the Doctor said sadly, ignoring Ianto's inappropriate accusation. "I looked into Jack's mind and saw and _felt_ all of the horrible and wonderful things that he's lived through. That final incident on the ship with his family broke him. I'm impressed beyond measure that it took this long."

"When you were holding his forehead you… that's what you did?"

The Doctor nodded. "So different from the man that I first met. He's so different. He did the right thing time and time again, even if it seemed wrong – like leaving Torchwood. He believed it to be the right thing and it gave him so much pain. So, I searched through his mind for the one person who could give _him_ something – who could give him the one thing that would stop him from thinking about destroying everything –"

"He really wasn't going to do it."

"Not this time, but he would've kept thinking about it, and hating himself for thinking about, until there was nothing left in his mind except fear and madness."

"What - what do I give him that –"

"Acceptance, Ianto. Something better than love. You _know_ him and you continue to accept him and the things that he does without negative judgment, only with love and friendship. That's so important to him – to be accepted and forgiven and loved despite his mistakes. Even before he changed, it's what his soul craved."

Ianto laughed nervously. "That's rubbish. I… I – really, I couldn't be the only person in the world who would accept Jack for the person he needs to be."

"No, of course you're not. There are probably hundreds – no, _thousands_ of people out there in time and space that would. Jack's probably met hundreds of them. But maybe an event never took place where they had to show Jack they accepted him, maybe he never gave them that chance because he didn't stick around long enough, maybe he wasn't honest enough with them to truly accept him, or maybe he just simply didn't believe that they did." The Doctor smiled at Ianto. "I felt it when I found his memories of you. You were in his life at the right place and the right time, and whatever you did or whatever chain of events led up to it, don't matter. It did happen. And Jack feels accepted by you. And when I found the memory of you, he remembered and he felt his peace and happiness. That's what I needed to bring to him."

Ianto shook his head. He couldn't believe what the Doctor was telling him. "Well, what about you? You're Jack's friend. You care about him. You must or you wouldn't have done this."

"I am Jack's friend, and I do care about him, but I can't accept him for what he is. Please, don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like _that_. That _look_. You have a very expressive face. It's unnerving. And I can't help how I feel about Jack. It's in my nature as a Time Lord." The Doctor sighed. "I once told him that he was _wrong_. I'm like the universe. I don't think Jack should exist. But _you_ can't imagine, nor would you want a universe where he didn't. Can you?"

"It makes me sound like… some sort of… minion… his lapdog. Like I just let him get away with… stuff and don't think that he's ever wrong."

"Not when I was being selfish."

Ianto startled and gaped at Jack, who was just a shadowy figure standing a few feet away. Yet, the Doctor simply turned to look forward with a small smile as if he'd known Jack had been there.

"What?" Ianto asked.

With his hands in his pockets, Jack stepped forward out of the darkness that had been obscuring his face. He wore a soft and humble expression, a look that still made Ianto's insides feel like goo. "You'd never let me get away with anything if I was doing it for selfish reasons. You always kept me honest."

Ianto dismissed Jack's words with a sharp wave of his hand in the air. "Loads of people didn't let you get away with that. Gwen – she always called you on it."

"Gwen…" Jack said as if he hadn't thought about her in years, which Ianto realised that he probably hadn't. He smiled fondly when he spoke. "No, she didn't let me act like a selfish bastard, but I remember she wanted to change me. She wanted me to think and act like her."

"I…" Ianto didn't know what to say. He was embarrassed and still not sure if he believed that he could've made that much of an impact on Jack, even if it was just because he was in the right place at the right time as the Doctor had put it. "I just wanted to come and make sure that you were all right." No one else said anything, so Ianto stood and brushed the dust from his trousers. "I saw you were, er, breaking down the manipulator… I can help with that."

"Ianto," Jack said, reaching out for him. He held Ianto's shoulder in an intimate grip. "Thank you."

"It… I just…"

Jack pulled him into a hug. "Just thank you."

"You're going to let go this time, right?"

"Maybe," Jack said, chuckling.

Ianto rested his chin on Jack's shoulder, closed his eyes, relaxed into his arm, and forgot where and when they were and that the Doctor sat a few feet away watching. That was until Jack whispered just his name - _Ianto_. It came out soft and desperate and Ianto broke, clinging to Jack's back. "Jack, god, Jack… I never thought I'd see you again."

Jack's lips met Ianto's neck and skimmed along his jaw and chin until they found his lips. It had been over a decade, and it _felt_ like a century, since he had kissed Jack like this, but he fell right back in sync with it, tilting his head exactly as Jack moved his, opening his mouth just as Jack opened his, and closing their lips together at the same time to add tender kisses in between warm tongues sliding against each other.

The Doctor cleared his throat – twice. "All right. Then, I'll just… um, I think the TARDIS's navigation needs calibrating or maybe a… oh, that's just not right to do in front of a Time Lord. How many hands do you have, Jack?"

~ ~ ~

"Good. You're done," the Doctor said without looking up from the monitor he was peering into. "I was thinking, Ianto, may like –"

"By the way…" Ianto said. "How'd I get into a bed? I was tired, but not that tired."

Jack laughed and the Doctor's olive-skin flushed a deep red.

"Go on," Jack said. "Tell him."

"The biscuits that I gave you… they were, er…"

"Filled with dodgy herbs," Jack said.

Ianto glared at the Doctor. "You drugged me!"

"They were perfectly harmless. It's a common herb found on Chimeria."

"You drugged me. I can't believe it."

"I didn't know. I just thought they tasted good. The herb doesn't affect me like it does humans. _Anyway_ , I was about to ask you where you'd like to go. Any significant historical events you'd like to see? A plant with four moons, perhaps?"

"You're not going home?" Jack asked Ianto.

The Doctor looked at them, crossing his arms. "Didn't you talk about this?"

"Not really. We were busy doing more important things," Jack said with pride and no shame.

"Honestly, it's a disaster out there! Where did you - never mind. I _don't_ want to know."

"Good," Jack said. "Because we weren't going to share. Unless you care to join –"

"Enough!" the Doctor said waving his finger at Jack. "Well, I'm sorry if I've spoiled the ending for you, Ianto. I try to keep things in order, but I forgot when you're involved, _Jack_ , there is no such thing as order."

"So, you knew that I wanted to stay?" Ianto asked, knowing that he was staying. The decision had been easy. He had outlived his time at Torchwood, a miracle really. He wasn't going to push time's patience any further. A life with the Doctor wouldn't be much safer, he knew. But it'd be a lot more fun. Him and Lisa had always talked about travelling in their old age.

"Of course."

Ianto frowned. Had the Doctor gone into the future and saw him there, with him… and Jack, maybe? "How?"

"I'll leave that as a surprise."

~ ~ ~

The sky, untarnished by centuries of pollution was a shade of blue that Ianto had never seen, nor could've ever imagined. Not that he'd ever imagined sitting on top of Mount Olympus with Jack. He wasn't sure which part of the scenario was the most unbelievable.

"Really - you've never been here before either?" Ianto asked.

"Nope," said Jack.

"And it's really Four Hundred BC?"

"Yep."

"Where are all of the gods?"

Jack smirked. "I'm the only god here. Or at least that's what you told me last night."

"You really fall right back into it – don't you?"

"Sure do, sugar-lips?"

"Sugar-lips?"

"No?"

"Nope."

"Sweet-cheeks?"

Ianto laughed and went back to looking around at the landscape. "This is amazing."

"The Doctor will show you things that you've never dreamt of."

"So we're staying with him?"

"What?"

"We're going to travel with the Doctor, then?"

" _We_?"

"Huh?"

"You said 'we.'"

"Jack, this conversation is going nowhere."

"The Doctor told me that he offered for you to travel with him."

Ianto's heart sunk. Jack thought that Ianto was staying to travel with the Doctor. Maybe it was because Jack didn't want him to stay with him.

"He did," Ianto said.

"And that's what you want to do?"

"Where will you go?"

"You didn't answer my question."

Ianto searched Jack's face for a hint that he could lay it all on the line and be honest. It was there in Jack's uncertain smile, and in his eyes that couldn't quite meet Ianto's. "I came here for you, Jack. Not the Doctor. I want to stay with _you_."

Jack brightened up immediately. "We could travel with him – if you'd like. He can show you some extraordinary things."

"I think…" Ianto glanced back at the TARDIS to make sure the Doctor wasn't lingering around. "I think he'd like that. He seems lonely."

"Um." Jack rested his arm on Ianto's shoulder and cradled the back of his neck in his hand, tenderly running his thumb along the hairline. It was a gesture that appeared to be comforting Ianto, but Ianto knew it was Jack's way of comforting himself. "I don't know if we can fix that. You can be with someone and still be lonely."

"Maybe not… maybe he'll still be lonely, but he won't be alone and that's not so bad."

"No, it isn't," Jack said.

"What do you want?" Ianto asked.

"I could do with spending time with the Doctor. He's the Leader in this unit though. You okay with that?"

"Yes," Ianto said, relief washing over him. "I wouldn't mind being a simple soldier and letting someone else do the leading."

"Being a soldier is never simple, Ianto. Never. It's always the most honourable though." He looked out reflectively over Greece. "I've been a leader for so long...I fear that I've forgotten what it takes to follow."

"We'll take it day by day," Ianto said, reaching up to hold Jack's arm that was still on his shoulder. "Or I'll ask the Doctor to pretend sometimes to let you lead." He paused. "Just like I always did."

Jack laughed and pulled Ianto tight against him. "I'm really looking forward to falling for you all over again."

~ ~ ~

"Who gave you this one?" Jack asked as he ran his finger along the long, pale scar tissue on Ianto's right hip.

"Sleeper Agent. A small cell activated in two thousand and eighteen."

Ianto rolled onto his back at Jack's urging as Jack's hand moved to his shoulder and rubbed the circle of scar tissue on his chest with the pad of his thumb. "And this?"

"Bullet from a Blowfish. Gang of them were starting an underground crime unit. Missed a major artery by," Ianto held his fingers apart a mere eighth of an inch, "this much."

Jack let four fingers trail over the four jagged scars that ran from right below Ianto's ear down to his collarbone. "And this?"

Ianto shuddered as he recalled the claws that had ripped through his flesh. "Cheetah People fell through the Rift. They were a right nasty pack to round up."

Jack tickled the tiny scar on the underside of Ianto's chin. "And this one?"

"Fell off my bike when I was nine."

Jack scowled. "Sorry. I forgot about that, babe."

Ianto raised an eyebrow.

"Too much?"

"I can't decide between too cheesy or too sleazy."

"Back to the drawing board then," Jack said as his fingers skimmed through Ianto's chest hair. His soft touch followed the hair that trailed over his stomach down to the erection that had been reawakened by Jack's intimate inspection of his body. He curled his fingers around it and smirked crookedly. "And who gave you this?"

Ianto grabbed the back of Jack's neck and pulled him down into a kiss, whispering huskily just before their mouths met, "You, Jack. You."

~ ~ ~

Ianto bent over putting his hands on his knees and took a deep breath.

"Ianto," Jack said, patting his back. "You have to calm down."

"I can't… I don't know what time it is! There is no…" He stood up straight and started to pace around the small bedroom. "There is no _time_ with you two! You just – just run all around it like it's some big – big circle. It's not a circle. Time is straight, Jack. It's fucking straight!"

"Not for the Doctor, he –"

"It's still straight for him! He still has a timeline. There are still a number of seconds that roll up to minutes and hours and days and years from when he was born." He chopped his hand in the air. "Straight! Timeline!"

"Sure, but –"

"And you're no better. You don't know how long you've been around."

"Understand… it got to be a bit difficult to keep track after –"

"Well, I want to keep track of mine! But I don't know anymore! I don't know if I'm sleeping from day to night or night to day or just all day long. We hop from planet to planet through time, and sometimes I go without seeing the sun for days!"

"If you want to see the sun, we can –"

"It's not the sun! I… I want to know what fucking day it is! I want to know if it's my birthday or Martha's or Peter's or if it's bloody Christmas day! I don't want to forget how old I am…" He stopped only from the frantic urging of his lungs to take a deep breath. "And yesterday when I got knocked out, my watch broke… and I can't figure out how long it's been… I don't know where I'm supposed to be, but I'm not!"

"The TARDIS can help you," Jack said. He slipped his arm around Ianto's waist and led him to the Doctor. "Deep breaths. That's it. Inhale… slowly. Come on."

The Doctor used the TARDIS's logs to help Ianto calculate and document exactly how much time had passed since Ianto left Cardiff.

Ianto looked at the watch in his hand. He had brought it especially for the trip, replacing the simple stopwatch that he had put away in his suitcase for sentimental reasons. The new watch was a fancy chronograph watch that counted off years, months, and days. "But… what about…"

The Doctor took it, zapped it a few times with his sonic screwdriver, and handed it back to him, in working order. Ianto immediately pulled out the stem and set the time. He had counted the seconds off in his head while the Doctor had worked on his watch. He was certain he now had the exact time it was back on Earth.

Ianto looked at the watch and frowned.

"Now what's wrong?" Jack asked.

Ianto sighed. "I had an appointment for a haircut today."

~ ~ ~

 _Monday, 15th September 2025_

Once Ianto got back his timeline, he clung to it, marking the exact date and time of day in his journal as soon as he woke, and it was the last thing he did before he slipped into bed next to Jack. While he was on Earth, he had let time slip by him. Ignored it, even feared it. Days just melted together into weeks which melted into years. Now, it felt like he owed it respect, a reverence, thanking it for giving him more of it… and Jack.

~ ~ ~

  
_Tuesday, 25 November 2025_

Ianto walked through the narrow hallway of a Racnoss ship with Jack behind him. They were looking for the Doctor – _again_.

"He's so damn stubborn," Jack said. "Why won't he take the damn communication piece with him?"

"The Doctor likes to handle certain things the old-fashioned way."

Jack poked Ianto in the back and Ianto looked over his shoulder to see Jack giving him a pointed look. "I knew you thought it was admirable or some rubbish like that."

Ianto shrugged. "It's worked for him so far."

"Technically, he's died ten times. _Ten._ I wouldn't call that a fabulous success rate."

"You're one to talk," quipped Ianto.

The hallway ended at what appeared to be a dead-end, but as Ianto felt around the shiny black wall, he detected a groove indicating a door, but with no visible means of opening it.

Jack pressed against Ianto's back harder than was necessary. "Any ideas, angel-face?"

"They're getting much worse."

"Or maybe you're just too fussy."

"Me? Fussy? No."

"You're wearing a suit and tie on an alien spaceship and… nope. I've got nothing else. That says it all."

Ianto ignored him and went back to inspecting the wall, looking for a keypad.

"You thinking a –"

The wall suddenly slid open revealing the Doctor, red-faced and panting. "You know what comes next!"

Without hesitation, Jack pressed his back against the wall, grabbed Ianto, and shoved him in front. Ianto took off down the hallway, with Jack, the Doctor, and the eerie clicking sound of a Racnoss's razor-tipped limbs on the metal floor behind him.

"You need to eat more," Jack shouted.

"What?" Ianto yelled back.

"You're getting too thin. All this running. You need to eat more to compensate!" Ianto looked over his shoulder at Jack, who at that moment looked over his shoulder and shouted back at the Doctor, "Keep up, old man!"

~ ~ ~

 _Friday, 13 February 2026_

"No, Ianto. Not that one. That one," the Doctor shouted, pointing at a stick with a knob on the end of it.

The TARDIS rocked and Ianto grabbed Jack's arm to steady himself. He took a hold of the control and twisted it.

"No, Ianto. You have to twist and pump it!" Jack yelled over the screeching noises the TARDIS made as it bounced through the Time Vortex. "That's it, hot stuff! Pump and twist! Pump – and - twist! That's good…"

Ianto and Jack grinned at each other over the obvious innuendo in both Jack's words and his tone.

"Really," the Doctor sighed. "Isn't it enough that on occasion I have to hear the two of you while you're actually copulating, but now I have to listen to a simulation of it when we're in the middle of a _crisis_?"

"But is it a _dire_ crisis, Doctor?" Ianto asked, smirking.

The Doctor groaned. "You're rubbing off on him, Jack Harkness."

Ianto and Jack looked at each other again and burst into laughter simultaneously.

"You're making it too easy, Doctor," Jack said.

~ ~ ~

 _Wednesday, 25 March 2026_

The Doctor swung his legs off the table and his feet hit the floor with a thud. "Wait! What? That's just all wrong! They got the body right, but the head is all wrong. Their skulls are much more elongated from the parietal lobe. And the limbs! I don't even know where to begin with the limbs! The arms are entirely too short and the legs have three joints."

Jack dipped his hand into the bowl resting on Ianto's lap, grabbed a handful of popcorn, and threw it at the Doctor. "Just watch the movie and be quiet!"

The Doctor grunted and managed to remain silent for at least five minutes before he huffed dramatically. "What is wrong with these people? Look at those eyes! Their eyes should be yellow not _orange_. What insectoid species has orange eyes?"

Jack leaned over and whispered in Ianto's ear, "No more sci-fi."

Ianto nodded in agreement. "Next time - chick-flick."

~ ~ ~

 _Monday, 15 June 2026_

Ianto clung to the top rung of the ladder with one hand and attempted to pry open the lock with the other. "It's unlocked, but jammed or something." He looked down at Jack and the Doctor. "Any ideas?"

"Here," the Doctor said, passing his sonic screwdriver to Jack.

Jack stared at it. "You're going to let him use this?"

"He needs it."

"You never let anyone use it," Jack said, still staring at the device. "You know… I had a boyfriend who had something that looked like this, but it was bigger and it _vibrated_."

Ianto took it, fully understanding the meaning behind the Doctor allowing him to use it. "Hey, Jack, did you ever use me in one of your _'I had a boyfriend'_ stories?"

"Probably once or twice."

"Yeah? What did you say?"

"Ianto, hold it further away," the Doctor instructed.

The bolt clicked and Ianto flung open the hatch. They climbed out one-by-one into the bright sunlight. Ianto returned the screwdriver to the Doctor and the three of them entered the forest towards the TARDIS, or home, as Ianto had begun to think of it.

"Well, how did you refer to me?" Ianto asked Jack as they walked with the Doctor between them.

"Oh… yeah." Jack thought about it for a moment before snapping his fingers. "Right. I remember one time I had this great jacket – a real soft silver leather – someone admired it and I said, _'I had a boyfriend once who loved my coat so much he helped me into and out of it every chance that he got.'_ "

"I'm sure you said much more vulgar or unflattering things. I _know_ your stories." Ianto smiled, remembering what he had felt like to smooth his hands over the wool of Jack's greatcoat, feeling Jack's broad shoulders and back underneath of it. "But I did love that coat."

"Me too," Jack said. Frowning, he held open the long simple brown coat that he was wearing. "This one's boring. Maybe, I'll go back to leather."

Ianto dug into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out the gold button he had ripped from Jack's coat some twenty years ago. He held it in his hand for Jack to look at and said, "I still have this."

Jack stopped dead and picked the button up. "You… I can't believe you kept this all these years."

"Why'd you stop wearing the coat?" Ianto asked.

"I left it behind somewhere," Jack said brusquely.

The next several days were gloomy and tense. A sulky Jack was severely contagious in the small confines of the TARDIS. Jack sulked, and when he rebuffed Ianto's attempts to cheer him up, Ianto sulked, which made the Doctor sulk because it was something that he couldn't fix. Even the TARDIS felt the mood and had begun to have minor mechanical difficulties. At least that gave the Doctor something to fix, but it left Jack and Ianto with nothing to do but snap at each other, followed by unproductive pouting.

Finally, the cycle of sulking ended one day when Ianto stepped out of the shower and found Jack sitting on the sink in just his pants and staring at the keepsake gold button that he was twirling slowly between his fingers. "I mourned you," he said.

"What?"

"I ran into a unit of Torchwood on one of Earth's space colonies. They'd migrated there with the first wave of humans who'd left Earth. My authorisation codes were still active."

"I know," Ianto said as he wrapped a towel around his waist. "I left instructions to leave them permanently active in the event that you returned."

Jack nodded his head methodically as if he hadn't been surprised by that fact. "I researched your file. It said that you'd died in the year two thousand and twenty-six while holding the position as the active Chief of Torchwood Three Cardiff Division. You were only forty-three."

"That's proper procedure. I was classified as missing in action and when I didn't return in a year, I'd be listed as deceased."

"I didn't know where you went _then_. I never could've imagined this." Jack ran a hand through his hair. "I left their headquarters without the coat. I didn't even think of it until I was millions of miles away on another planet. Maybe, I did it subconsciously… it had always reminded me of you each time I put it on."

Ianto pushed Jack's legs apart, stepped between them and cupped Jack's face in his hands. "I'm sorry you had to feel that way."

Jack's breath hitched in his throat. "I kept thinking that you died alone or were kidnapped and tortured to death. I never wanted that for you. I hated myself for leaving."

"Why didn't you…? Never mind."

"Why didn't I come back?"

"Yeah."

"I wanted to so many times. You were right I was grieving. I was too afraid of losing you next."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because I left… and that was that. I was an idiot. Did you hate me for too long?"

Ianto threw his arms around Jack's neck. "Sometimes when I was feeling particularly self-pitying - yes. But I loved it. I loved Torchwood. It was _mine_ and that was a great feeling."

"And you left it…"

"It was time," Ianto said.

"Are you happy here with us… with me, Ianto? Really happy?"

"A year before the Doctor came to collect me I'd told Martha how I'd been feeling off – like something wasn't right. It started when the Doctor told me that he was looking for you. The moment that I saw you again, I clicked back into place." He kissed Jack tenderly.

Jack said, "You didn't say that you were happy."

"I am, Jack. I'm happy."


	6. Chapter 6

_Wednesday 19 August 2026_

Jack stood inches from the Doctor, glaring at him. "I can't believe you put this idea in his head."

The Doctor glared back, giving Jack as good as he was getting. "He heard about it in one of those dodgy bars you took him to. Didn't think I knew about that - did you? Well, I only gave him more accurate information when he came to me."

"Hello! I'm actually _here_. In the room," Ianto snapped.

"You could've attempted to talk him out of it!" Jack shouted.

"He's a grown adult. He can make his own decisions."

"Hello! Still in the room!"

"It's _banned_!" Jack argued. He pointed angrily at the silver pod directly behind Ianto. "That thing is banned!"

The Doctor shook his head, exasperated, since he had explained this all a few days ago when they had left for Avalon. "The Machine…" The Doctor finally looked at Ianto. "What was it you called it when we first came in?"

"The New Genes Machine," Ianto said.

"Right. I like that. It's catchy. Not technically true, but still, it's catchy. The New Genes Machine was banned by the government of the colony, so that the politicians could retain power longer and use it as a hold over the people, until I stepped in, of course. It wasn't banned because it wasn't safe and it isn't banned right now."

"Jack," Ianto said softly, switching tactics and attempting to reason with him. "It's safe. The worst thing that could happen is that it doesn't work."

Jack shook his head. "Nothing's a hundred percent safe, Ianto. You know that."

"Please, I want this. Be reasonable. It'll keep me in shape so that I can keep up with the two of you, while I age and you don't, and it could add ten, maybe twenty years to my life."

Jack's face went from angry to concern. "Doctor, please, talk to him. I know you don't approve of this."

"I've already shared my opinions and reservations with Ianto, and he's made his own decision."

Jack pointed at the Machine again. "You'll be in there for a year!"

"And you and I will be right back here in five, maybe, ten minutes," the Doctor said.

Jack stalked over to a chair next to Ianto's bed, sat down, and crossed his arms across his chest. "Oh, no, you and _I_ won't. I'm staying right," Jack pointed at the floor, "here!" He shook his finger at the Doctor. "You have no idea what could happen! An attack. A power failure. Scientists going mad! That Machine starting to think on its own! Anything."

Ianto looked down at the sheet covering him so that Jack couldn't see the smile that he couldn't erase off his face.

"Fine. Have it your way," the Doctor said. "Ianto, are you certain you don't want to take a few more days to think about?"

Ianto shook his head.

"I wish you a peaceful sleep, then," the Doctor said, glared one last time at Jack, and left.

"Ianto, please," Jack said, starting to sound less angry and more worried. "A few days… just take a few more days to think about."

"I've made up my mind. And I want it to be today. It's poignant."

"What's today?"

"My birthday."

"Oh… sorry. I forgot. Happy birthday – now, don't be stupid." Jack scooted his chair closer to the bed and leaned forward. "I'm serious. You don't have to do this for me."

"Don't flatter yourself, Jack. I'm doing this for me. I found out about it ages ago, thought about it for a while before I even approached the Doctor, and then thought about it for ages more before I made the decision. I want this. I really want this. I'm not getting any younger."

"I think you're gorgeous," Jack said.

"It's not _that_. I'm feeling older… some days, after a particularly trying adventure, I wake up so sore that I – that's _not_ what I meant. You know what I'm talking about – I want to be able to keep up with you and the –"

Jack's smile that had sprung up spontaneously at the possible other meaning in Ianto's explanation faded and he frowned again. "We can slow down, if –"

"I don't want _you_ to slow down! _I_ don't want to slow down!"

Jack frowned, but sat back in the chair, though his body was still stiff. "It's… it's not easy living for a long time, past when you're not supposed to."

Ianto snorted. "I think I've pushed the boundaries of what I'm _supposed_ to be doing for quite some time now. And this isn't going to be like you. I will die. This is just giving me more time. That's all I want. _More_ Time."

Jack said nothing in response. He simply looked away and they sat in silence and waited.

Dr Kimball, the lead scientist on the project, entered. He purposefully avoided Jack, who had belittled, berated, and bullied him a few hours ago when the scientist had explained the entire procedure to them. He began preparing Ianto, placing monitors on his chest, head, and back. The entire time, Ianto stole glances at Jack staring unblinking at the corner of the room.

"All right there, Mr Jones?" Dr Kimball asked.

Ianto nodded.

"Good. Any questions?"

Ianto shook his head.

"Good." Dr Kimball took out a long needle and positioned Ianto's arm with the underside facing upwards.

"Wait," Jack said, leaping out of us seat so hard that he knocked it onto its back. He hovered over Ianto, and they stared at each other for a moment. Then Jack smiled his patented Jack Harkness smile. "I'll see you soon."

The needle pinched as it broke the skin. Ianto flinched. "See you soon," he whispered and Jack's face faded away.

"Ianto? Ianto, can you hear me?"

"Mmmmm…" Ianto mumbled.

"That's it. Come on, now. It's time to wake up."

The light felt like tiny blades piercing Ianto's pupils. He squinted and twisted his face as he tried to focus his vision. He heard Jack's voice again. "Good morning, gumdrop."

"Gumdrop?" Ianto whispered hoarsely. "Is that what you're going with?"

The Doctor and Jack sat on opposite sides of his bed, looking worried. Jack lifted Ianto's head and held it up so Ianto could sip water from the glass that the Doctor was holding.

"Maybe," Jack said. "Thought I'd try it out. See if it fit. You don't like it?"

"Keep trying," Ianto said.

"How do you feel?" the Doctor asked.

"Groggy," Ianto replied. "Well, did it work?"

Dr Kimball, who Ianto hadn't noticed in the room, appeared at the foot of his bed. "Did it work? It worked brilliantly! I suspected the results might be different for you."

The Doctor and Jack both snapped their heads towards the scientist. "What?" they said in unison.

"What do you mean different results?" Jack asked, looking like he was ready to whip out his revolver at the first indication that Ianto had been harmed.

"You didn't mention anything about this _before_ , Dr Kimball," the Doctor said.

"I – I, er, well…" Dr Kimball stammered, feeling the pressure of both men's threatening faces and body language. "I expected much more _positive_ results – everything's fine – Mr Jones is fine. I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up that's why I didn't -"

"Stop babbling and explain," Jack demanded.

"Mr Jones is a pure human. It's extremely rare these days - as you know. The Machine was built only to manipulate human cells and organs. Humans have the second shortest lifespan in this galaxy and over time and in areas where the oxygen levels are…" Mr Kimball's words drifted to silence as Jack's glare intensified.

The Doctor stepped in, trying to move the conversation along. "Right – right, so the stunt in Ianto's aging process would be greater."

"Yes," Dr Kimball replied. "And only human malignancies can be obliterated." Dr Kimball flipped through chart in his hand. "The Machine found cells in Ianto's prostate and colon that would have mutated into cancer by the time he was fifty-seven."

"Oh, my god, cancer," Ianto said, reaching out to grab Jack's hand.

"Nothing to worry about, Mr Jones. The Machine took care of it. The cells were metamorphosed into healthy cells. You'll be fine."

"You said the Machine could add twenty years to my life…"

"But that's your success rate for _mostly_ humans," the Doctor said.

Dr Kimball nodded excitedly. "Exactly. Mr Jones, the machine has added fifty years to your life – that's an estimate, give or take a few years, of course."

"But from what age?" Ianto asked.

More flipping through the chart. "After the threat of cancer – oh, and I missed this – you also had a predisposition through a hereditary link for diabetes - also corrected. So that left only dying of old age, which really means your heart would've just worn out and your organs would've decayed beyond medical repair… ah… the Machine projected that would've occurred when you were eighty-two."

"That means I could live to be a hundred and thirty-two!" Ianto tried to imagine it and it wasn't a pretty sight. Maybe he hadn't thought this through properly. "But what will I look like at a hundred and thirty-two?"

"Why, Ianto, I'd expect that sort of vain reaction from Jack – not you," the Doctor said in a scolding tone.

"About five years older than you look like now," Dr Kimball said proudly. "The Machine slows down the skin's aging process quite remarkably. It's much easier to manipulate than internal organs."

"Why not stop it all together?" Ianto asked.

"We attempted that very early on." Dr Kimball shuddered visibly. "It wasn't a pretty sight. The flesh is meant to keep changing, if it doesn't it sort of just… starts to tear and – anyway, you get the idea. And you'll still be aging, just at an extremely slow rate."

"That's another ninety years," Ianto said softly, awed. He had been given the span of a lifetime to live yet. He had been given more time. "Jack, isn't it…" Jack looked pale and distant. " _Jack_ , it's not like you. I'm not like _you_. I could still die in an accident. I could be shot, stabbed, contract rabies, fall from a building, have my head bitten off by a –"

The Doctor interrupted, "Ianto, you really must work on your techniques for cheering one up."

~ ~ ~

_Saturday, 08 May 2027_

"I don't believe this! She dies? No miracle cure?" The Doctor stood up abruptly without lifting the bowl of popcorn on his lap, sending popcorn scattering on the floor. It crunched under the Doctor's shoes as he marched out of the room, grumbling, "Humans. Only humans would view pain and suffering as a form of entertainment."

Out of the corner of his eye, Ianto saw Jack watching him as he wiped his own eyes clean of tears.

Jack shut off the telly and slammed the remote on the table. "That's it. No more films for either of you! You both take them too seriously!"

"No, Jack… it's all right. I'm fine – really. I just didn't expect…"

"I'm putting my foot down!"

"But…"

"No buts! We're getting a snooker table like I suggested and you're going to like it!"

~ ~ ~

_Thursday, 05 June 2031_

"You're not going out there!" Jack said, pushing Ianto away from the door.

"I've beaten them before," Ianto argued.

"No, Toshisko beat them before. Your idea was to shoot them. You can't shoot a Dalek!"

"It was Gwen's idea – not mine," Ianto mumbled. "Stop treating me like child."

"Then stop acting like one, _pumpkin_ ," Jack growled.

"I'm not hiding out in here like a bloody coward!" Ianto said, stomping his foot.

"Ianto," the Doctor said, stepping in between Jack and Ianto. "You won't be hiding out in here. I need you to operate the time bubble – which, by the way, thank you, Toshiko Sato, for that utterly brilliant idea – at _exactly_ the right moment. As soon as they know I'm here, they're going to surround the TARDIS and Jack and I won't be able to get back in. They won't suspect that I have a third companion in here with a plan."

Ianto bit his bottom lip and nodded. He hated this plan, though it was an excellent one, because he knew that he had been developed around the objective to keep him safe. "All right. I'll stay."

As Ianto walked away, Jack said, "You didn't have a choice," and patted him on the arse.

~ ~ ~

_Saturday, 21 November 2037_

The Doctor pulled Ianto out of the line of people just as he was about to reach the front.

"All right, Ianto," the Doctor said. "That's enough of that."

Ianto struggled to get out of his grasp. "Just once more?"

"Don't you want to see the _Palace of the Fine Arts_?"

"Boring art? No, thanks."

"This is the 1893 World's Fair!" the Doctor said exasperatingly. "There's loads of wondrous things to see!"

"Hey, what are two up to?" Jack appeared out of the crowd with his hands in his pocket and strolled over. He nodded his head towards the Ferris wheel. "What - does he want to go on that death-trap again?"

The Doctor refocused his irritation at Jack. "And where were _you_?"

"He was off watching the belly-dancers… _again_ ," Ianto said smugly.

"Snitch," Jack hissed.

"The two of you are unbelievable. Look at this!" The Doctor stretched out his arms and spun around once. "All of the magnificent things. Can either of you comprehend the perpetual effect this had on structural design, the arts, and America's industrial history? There are over two hundred buildings here! Electrical power was introduced to the public! John Philip Sousa is playing right over –"

"Buffalo Bill's Wild West show is camped out right just outside the exposition," Jack said.

The Doctor's face cheered up immediately. "Really? I like cowboys."

Jack smirked. "Me too."

~ ~ ~

_Tuesday, 01 September 2043_

The Doctor put his hand over Ianto's and applied a gentle pressure, guiding him through the motions.

"That's it," he said. "Easy, but firm."

"Like this?"

The Doctor's hand on the small of his back moved to Ianto's shoulder. "Just twist that… yeah, that's right."

"What's going on?"

Ianto turned to see Jack standing a few feet away.

The Doctor stepped back, grinning. "Ianto's driving the TARDIS all by himself."

"I am?"

"You are and doing a mighty fine job at it, too."

"Jack, I'm driving the TARDIS by myself! How cool is that?"

Jack smiled; though, Ianto noticed, it didn't quite reach his eyes. He took the spot where the Doctor had stood and slid his arms around Ianto's waist. "You're a natural," he said sincerely. And Ianto forgot all about it as he basked in the praise of the two men that he admired the most.

~ ~ ~

_Friday, 05 October 2046_

Ianto opened the door to the TARDIS just as much as he needed to slip through quietly.

He shut the door with a soft click and the Doctor's angry voice greeted him. "Where were you?"

The Doctor stood with his arms folded. Jack stood behind him, not looking happy, but clearly not as put out about Ianto's absence as the Doctor.

"I…"

"Leave him alone," Jack said. "He was only –"

"He's on a strange planet," the Doctor shot back. " _I've_ never even been here before. We don't know what the natives are like."

"They're a nice lot," Ianto said. "Real friendly types."

 _'Very friendly,'_ Ianto thought as he remembered the fit alien, who looked mostly human, that he had shared a snog and a grope with in a secluded booth in the back of the pub. It had been harmless fun – he didn't dare do anything more without knowing the exact anatomy of the alien – or had he done more… maybe a snog and a grope was sex from the alien's perspective.

Ianto snorted at the thought and the Doctor grew angrier.

"You're inebriated!"

Ianto attempted to look innocent. "Huh?"

"He means you're pissed," Jack said.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "I know what it means. And, maybe, I am. So what. I'm sixty-three years old! I think I can have a drink every now and then without you riding my back about it."

"You're - you're - sixty-three! Oh, you're sixty-three – well, I didn't realise that that makes it all right to go off without telling us where you're going or who you're with!" He glared at Jack. "Talk to him! Explain how dangerous some of these planets can be!"

"You're making too big of a deal out of this," Jack said angrily. "Ianto's a grown man and he can go out without us anytime that he wants. He's fine – let it go!" Jack strode across the floor, grabbed Ianto's arm, and dragged him into their bedroom.

Jack's retort did nothing to quell the Doctor's anger; he continued shouting, "Well, now that we had to wait for you, we'll see how you like waiting for _me_ to take you to see Queen's Hyde Park concert!"

~ ~ ~

_Sunday, 24 April 2050_

"Where the hell are we?" Jack asked.

"I'm just checking up on a friend," the Doctor said. "You two keep yourselves busy… and out of trouble. Please."

"I'm offended," Jack said, clutching his heart. "Us… trouble… oh, is that an office building."

Jack gave Ianto a _look_ that Ianto knew well. Ianto grabbed his hand and dragged him along towards the large square white stone building.

"Yes," the Doctor said. "That's where I'll be, so –"

"That's where Jack and I'll be too," Ianto called back at him. "See you back at the TARDIS."

They snuck in the back door and up a fire escape. Ianto checked that the hallway was clear on the first floor and they entered it, luckily finding a supply room a few feet from the exit door that they had come through.

"You're not going to lock the door?" Jack asked as Ianto immediately pushed him up against a shelf filled with notepads and boxes of pens and pencils.

"No," Ianto breathed along Jack's neck. "Does it bother you?"

Ianto lowered Jack's zip and shoved his hand inside.

"Not a bit. Oh, you're… Ianto, god…" Jack moaned as Ianto fell to his knees. "It hasn't been… not that… long since we… last…"

"Five hours, fifty-one minutes, and eight seconds…"

"That… _long_ …?" It was the last coherent thing Jack said until Ianto was back on his feet a few minutes later as they began a mad rush to undress themselves, and Jack growled, "Faster."

Suddenly, the door opened and the Doctor appeared, squeaked in a quite unmanly fashion, and slammed the door shut again. "The two of you are so predictable!" he shouted through the door. "Hurry up and get dressed!"

Jack clutched Ianto's hips with both hands and bit down on Ianto's shoulder, creating a welcoming pain that got Ianto thinking a bit more clearly.

"What? Why?" Ianto asked.

"You have to get out of here. _Quickly_."

Jack took a deep breath and asked, "Can you tell us why?"

"I got a feeling, one of those Time Lord instinct feelings, that we're needed in the Zorationa galaxy."

Ianto frowned and whispered, "He's lying."

"I know," Jack responded quietly. "But remember – he runs this unit. We have to trust him."

"Right," Ianto said.

Ianto emerged first, fully dressed. Jack followed, still buttoning his shirt.

"This way," the Doctor said and ran through the exit door.

If Jack had noticed what Ianto had, that the office building was empty of all people and obviously unexpectedly – a printer was still printing off pages, handbags sat on top of desks, and coats hung on pegs by the door – he never mentioned it. They quietly followed the Doctor down the stairs, outside, and across the car park to the TARDIS. Jack got there first and went inside. The Doctor stood waiting for Ianto. Just as Ianto put his foot inside, someone running caught his eye. He looked towards the movement and saw a tall, handsome man with closely cropped light brown hair running towards the building.

The Doctor said quietly, "Trust me, Ianto. You can't stop and say hello."

Ianto watched his old friend and lover, Peter, disappear into the building.

If Torchwood was here in London, then it was something huge.

Ianto knew that they had landed a little over eleven months after he had left. His showing up now would be odd, but not unexplainable. He looked at the building, concerned. "But what if they need our help?"

"They don't. They have it covered. You have to trust me."

Ianto heard shouting, the voices unidentifiable by distance. The Doctor put a hand on his shoulder. "Ianto, trust me."

Ianto nodded and stepped into the TARDIS.

~ ~ ~

_Monday, 11 January 2055_

"I've got enough time to stay here and help you and we can go to the ship's hull together!" Jack shouted, holding on to Ianto's forearm.

"No, you don't!" Ianto said as he frantically punched codes into a keyboard. Each time he finished one set of codes, he had to reset the system all over again to stop a virus from worming its way through the computer's programs and breaking down the security system. Because if that happened, the 'bad guys', who had yet to be identified, on the other side of the door, would come bursting in and make good on the threats that they were shouting. "You have to be there to turn on the engines at the exact time the Doctor throws the switch or it won't work!"

"I'm not leaving you! If they get in –"

"They won't!"

"Ianto –"

"We can't let these people die. We promised. Now go! I'll be fine." Ianto took his eyes off the keyboard for two seconds to look at Jack, who stood there looking torn and terrified. He looked back at his task and shouted, "Dammit, Jack! I love you! Now get the hell out of here!"

Jack hesitated, but finally kissed Ianto's cheek swiftly. "I love you too."

Ianto shouted after him, "I'm not going to die, but if I do, don't go mad and try to blow up the universe!"

"Time and place to joke, Ianto! Time and place!"

~ ~ ~

_Friday, 12 March 2060_

The Doctor shouted to Ianto over the sounds of explosions. "How much longer do we have, Ianto?"

"Two minutes and fifty-four seconds!"

"How'd you…?" Jack grabbed Ianto and pulled him out of the way of a falling piece of metal. "How'd you do that?"

"Do what?"

"How long do we have now?" Jack asked.

"Two minutes and thirty-one seconds."

" _That_!"

"I don't know… I…" Ianto grabbed the wall as the ship rumbled. "I just do."

"You never could before."

"I reckon… Jack, watch out!"

"Doctor, hurry up!"

"Two minutes and five seconds," Ianto said. "In my head, I'd count off how long I'd been gone from Earth and what exact date and time it was to help… it helped me adjust." Ianto shrugged. "I reckon after thirty-five years of doing it, it just comes easy to calculate time in my head."

"Thirty-five years…" Jack repeated. "It's been – wow. I didn't… time flies when you're having fun, I reckon, sugar-lips?"

"Repeat," Ianto said shortly.

"Yeah?"

"Ages ago. One minute and forty-seven seconds!"

"Well, Ianto's little skill comes in handy," the Doctor commented.

"You knew he was doing it?" Jack asked.

The Doctor looked up from the control panel he had his sonic screwdriver jammed in to. "You didn't? He's been doing it for a long time."

"I…"

"Can we focus on stopping the impending explosion and saving the universe, and talk about my freakish skill another time, please?"

~ ~ ~

_Wednesday, 30 June 2066_

"Are you certain that you don't want to stay?" Ianto asked.

The Doctor shook his head. "No. I've seen this one already. Ah, the weather was perfect. One of the best total solar eclipses I've ever seen." He stepped into the TARDIS, calling over his shoulder, "Enjoy yourselves, boys! I'll be seeing you soon."

"Will he be all right?" Ianto asked as he watched the TARDIS vanish.

"He'll be fine. He's not going to pull one of his time-travelling stunts and come right back. He said he's going to go the linear time route and give himself a mini-holiday as well. Though… he could be gone for years and back here in three days and we'd never know it. I suspect that's what he does when he says that he's just popping out for a bit." Jack shrugged. "He's a big boy, so stop fretting." Jack picked up his suitcase. "Let's check into the hotel. We have to wake before dawn to get to the viewing site. We want to get a good spot."

"Are you suggesting that we check into a hotel and actually _sleep_?"

"Hell, no! I was only stating a fact. I plan on ravishing you all over that room and twice in the shower."

The next morning, after Jack executed his plan (though it had been Ianto who had ravished Jack in the shower – twice), Ianto and Jack held hands as they walked through the crowd at the Qiantang River Tidal Bore viewing area.

They found a spot near a group of American tourists, who Jack struck up a conversation with. Jack had his charm meter turned way up and he was telling them some outrageous lie about him and Ianto meeting on a cruise ship a few months ago. It amused Jack to do it, so Ianto played along when he was in the mood.

"We were both with our wives," Jack said. "And… well, I took one look at him from across the room and I swear, Betty, it was like I had been hit by a lightning bolt! I just knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with him."

Betty, a middle-aged woman with teased blonde hair and a pretty smile, clutched her chest. "Oh! That's so romantic!"

"Our _wives_ didn't think so," Ianto said wryly.

Jack hooked a finger in the belt loop of Ianto's appropriate-for-hot-weather-shorts and pulled him closer. "But, pickle, we just couldn't ignore the pull of something as powerful as true love."

Betty giggled and blushed.

"Don't forget your glasses!" a voice boomed over the din of the crowd. Ianto moved out of Jack's grasp and looked around to see who was shouting, spotting a tall thin man standing a few feet away, shoving dark glasses into the hands of puzzled onlookers. "Do you have a – no, that's not a proper pair! Here take these." Ianto couldn't believe what he was seeing. His hand tapped Jack on the thigh.

Jack was still babbling next to him. "We snuck out at night to meet on the deck under the stars…"

The man, who Ianto had only ever seen over a video screen, stopped in front of him. "You need a pair of these," he said, pressing glasses into Ianto's hand. "You look familiar – have we met before? You'll have to excuse me, but I meet a lot of people and... Wellllll, this is a surprise!"

Jack had stopped talking and was standing there gaping at the Doctor's previous incarnation.

"Jack! _Captain Jack_ , good to see you?" The Doctor waved his finger at Ianto. "Oh, right! I remember you. Jack's Man Friday. Torchwood Ianto. _Ianto Jones_. So, are you two on… a… holiday… wait, a minute!" He pulled a pair of glasses out of his pocket, put them on, and stared at Ianto, scrutinising him. He frowned, making his forehead wrinkle. Ianto could see him working it out. "That's why I didn't recognise you straight away!" He tapped the side of his head. "My memory is still the same, but you're not are you?"

Ianto didn't know what he should or shouldn't say. He looked at Jack for help.

"Doctor, this is a bit of a predicament we're in here," Jack said.

" _Jack…_ " The Doctor grabbed Jack's wrist, flipped open the brown leather strap, and inspected the Time Agency device. "I've told you have no business with a Vortex Manipulator. I let you keep this thing because you're so attached to it and –"

"And it looks good on me _and_ it's temporarily out of commission."

"Well, you're right. I can see that, but if you didn't use _that_ to get here… you had to use something. Linear timewise _"he"_ \- did I just do air quotes? That's annoying – isn't it? _Anyway_ … he shouldn't be any more than thirty. It's obvious – at least to me - I don't know about your friend over there listening and watching very intently - that you've come here from the future."

"Jack…?" Ianto glanced nervously at Betty. She was staring wide-eyed at the Doctor. Ianto hoped that the Doctor's swift speech and tendency to switch topics at random would be enough to confuse her.

"Doctor, you know that there are only three options we could've used to get here," Jack said. "Two of them are right here and one is broken – as you confirmed. And, although, I wouldn't hesitate to use the third option, Ianto here is much more sensible and virtuous than me. You have to trust me that he would never, _ever_ use that method."

The Doctor gazed into Ianto's eyes, while Ianto attempted to look honest – honest about what he didn't know, but he went with it like he often did when Jack took control. Finally, the Doctor nodded at Ianto, then Jack. "Well then... work to do here. Need to make sure everyone is properly prepared. I'll just be moving along. Please enjoy the spectacular phenomenon, Ianto – Jack."

Ianto watched the Doctor disappear into the crowd. "He knew back then. Bloody hell. When he came to get me – he knew. That's why he kept coming back to me looking for you because he knew that we were together."

"It appears that way."

"How does he do it? Keep it all straight – keep it all from criss-crossing and colliding. It must be so confusing."

"It's easy for him. It comes natural, like breathing does for us."

"Yeah, I reckon it would have to. But all of that power…" Ianto stood on his toes, peering over the crowd. He spotted the Doctor moving away from them and passing out glasses as he went. "He's so different. He's a bit –"

"Bouncy," Jack interjected.

Ianto chuckled. "I was going to say energetic, but bouncy works too. By the way, what's the third option?"

"Forget about it," Jack said. "And him. Now, let's find another spot." He shot a look at Betty, who was whispering to her friends.

The crowd was thick, but Jack charmed his way and, when that didn't work, he bullied his way through and found a cosy spot for them. They settled in just as the moon had begun to pass between the sun and Earth and the moon's shadow darkened only a sliver of the bright orange sun.

Jack put on his protective glasses just as Ianto did. "Do you really need them?" Ianto asked.

"No, but I like to pretend to be normal sometimes and… I do look good in them."

Ianto rolled his eyes, though secretly agreeing that there wasn't much that Jack didn't look good in or… out of. The thought made Ianto's mind wander to their prior evening and early morning escapades. His fingers followed, wandering up and down the back of Jack's hand, which led to them snogging like a couple of teenagers against the railing, only taking breaks for drinks of water and to wipe the sweat from their faces when the sweltering heat got to be too much.

A few decades ago, Ianto would've been mortified to put on such a display in front of a crowd of people, but time, age, and travelling around with a third person that limited their physical time together had him not caring a bit that Jack's hands were shoved under his sweaty t-shirt and roaming over the sweaty skin of his back. He rationalised that they were strangers and he'd time-travel away from them and never see them again.

Eventually the ohs and ahs of the crowd broke their intimate bubble. Ianto watched as the last of the sun disappeared. It was an amazing sight to see. Ianto's first. "That's it. The maximum eclipse has started."

"How long will it last?"

"Five minutes and forty seconds."

Jack's fingers tickled the back of Ianto's neck. "Seems like an awfully long time to waste just staring at a black dot in the sky."

Ianto smiled and leaned into Jack, pushing him back against the railing again for another snogging session. He got lost in Jack easily again, until he hard mumblings around him.

"Wait." He pushed Jack away.

"What is it almost over?"

"No… it's been almost nine minutes and there's been no change at all."

Jack looked up at the sky and the blacked out sun. Suddenly, the river started to swell at a threatening quick pace.

"The tidal bore!" Ianto said. "It wasn't supposed to happen for at least another two hours, but the gravitational pull is changing the tides."

"Shit! Look!"

Ianto saw it too. Rising from the river was a long silver sphere. "That's not good, Jack. That's _really_ not good."

They looked at each other and Ianto saw that Jack was thinking the same thing. They both started to look frantically toward the crowd, but didn't have to wait for long. A few people standing close to them were shoved to the side and the Doctor appeared, mumbling apologies.

He reached the couple and grinned like a mad man. "Jack. Ianto. Looks like we've found ourselves an adventure!"

The adventure ended back in the TARDIS with Jack tugging Ianto's shoulder and shouting, "Stand back!"

"I have to help him!" Ianto shouted. "He's bleeding. Jack, it's bad… he's…"

"Ianto, listen to him," the Doctor said hoarsely. He tried to grin. "It's show time."

"No," Ianto said. "I can't… you need help…"

Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto's chest, forced him to stand, and pulled him away. Jack kept his arms around him, trying to hold him still. "He doesn't need help. You _know_ what happens. I told you what happens. It'll be okay."

The Doctor got up on his knees. He swayed, panting and watching the blood drip from his chest and down through the grate below him. He struggled to stand as Ianto struggled to get away from Jack.

"Doctor! Jack, let me go. Let me help him!"

"Stay back!" Jack warned.

Using the control console as leverage, the Doctor stood. He cried out in pain just as a golden glow began to illuminate from his skin.

"This is it," Jack said. "It's going to be okay. I promise."

Suddenly, as if he'd been pulled upright by invisible robes tied around his wrists, the Doctor stood up straight, tilted his head back, spread his arms open wide, and beams of light, both milky white and golden, streamed from his body upwards. Jack held Ianto tighter, though Ianto was too much in shock to attempt to move. He wanted to watch something as incredible as this, but the light was too bright. He shut his eyes, trapping it out. It only lasted a few seconds. The light disappeared and the Doctor – the Doctor that Ianto knew, the one he had come to trust, respect, and love – stood still for a few seconds before collapsing into a heap on the floor.


	7. Chapter 7

_Friday, 20 July 2066_

The situation Ianto found himself in was upsetting, strange, and amazing. He sat on the edge of the chair and studied the Doctor's sleeping face. In the span of a few days, the Doctor had been a friend, then a stranger, then a comrade in battle, and back to a stranger again.

A stranger wearing a face that Ianto could describe in meticulous detail with his eyes closed.

Ianto knew what the future held for this man. Yet, his own and Jack' were still a mystery. The path he had taken in the past was clear; he had chosen to stay with Jack, and Jack had stayed with him… so far.

This man would welcome him into his life and show him the most extraordinary things. He would give Ianto a new life, and Jack a refuge where he could heal. He knew where this man was headed. He knew that the Doctor would survive this regeneration. He knew that his friend would be whole again. It should have been comforting, but it wasn't.

He dipped a flannel in a bowl filled with cool water, wrung it out, and wiped it tenderly over the Doctor's face and neck as he gently brushed back the black fringe from his sweaty brow with his other hand. The Doctor mumbled something inaudible and swiped at Ianto's hand, but Ianto grabbed it and held his wrist down to the bed.

"Stop being so stubborn and let me help you."

"How is he?" Jack asked, hovering just outside the door.

"He's still feverish."

"Stop talking about me," the Doctor growled. "You shouldn't even be here, Jack. You're not supposed to be here. You're not right. You're wrong. So wrong… it hurts to look at you. I have to find a way to fix you… can't figure out how to fix you… make you go away... forever… forever…"

"And still delirious," Ianto said, looking apologetically at Jack.

The Doctor had been rebuffing and verbally abusing Jack for two days. In the beginning, Jack had tried to act as if he didn't care, explaining to Ianto that the Doctor had told him once that confusion and sometimes violent behaviour often accompanied his regenerations. But the emotional toll it was taking on Jack was obvious in his face and, especially, in his eyes.

Jack looked sadly at the Doctor, spun around, and left.

"Leave me alone," the Doctor mumbled. "I just want to be alone. No one will leave me alone."

"Stop being so mean to him," Ianto hissed. "He loves you, and when you're better, you're going to regret saying these things."

"I can't fix him… Rose made him and she's fixed, but she can't fix him… _you_ can't fix him."

"I don't want to fix him because he doesn't need to be fixed. You on the other hand…"

~ ~ ~

 _Wednesday, 07 July 2066_

"Don't let him near the consoles!" Jack shouted. "If he gets control of this thing, god only knows where we'll end up!"

Ianto held tight to the Doctor's arm, and Jack held the other as the Doctor grunted and struggled to get out of their grasp.

"Let me go," the Doctor snarled. "This is my TARDIS. It doesn't even want you here! I don't want you here, _Captain_ and his _boy-toy!_ You can't stop me from…"

The Doctor went limp and Ianto shifted his hold to around the Doctor's chest to keep him from hitting the ground.

Ianto took a deep breath, puffing his cheeks out, and exhaled slowly, thankful that this manic wave was finally over. "What the hell keeps knocking him out?"

"I guess something internal," Jack said. "Maybe he's overheating from all that rage."

The Doctor moaned as he lifted his chin from his chest. He blinked a few times. "Well?" He looked back and forth from Ianto to Jack and back to Ianto again. "Was our plan successful?"

"That all depends on your definition of successful," Ianto said.

"Is the planet still here?"

"Yep."

"That's my definition of success. And… you can let go of me now."

Ianto looked at Jack for confirmation. Jack nodded, and, slowly they let go, keeping their hands at the ready to grab him again if he showed any signs of madness.

The Doctor snatched a lock of his hair, looked at it sideways, and frowned. Sighing, he stood up straight. "At least I'm tall again. It helps in crowds."

~ ~ ~

"But what if he's expecting us?" Ianto asked, jogging to keep up with Jack as they walked down the street towards the hotel where they had begun their journey.

"He's not."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know. If I want to stay here for five bloody years and go back to the spot we agreed on, he'll be there because it already happened! He already knows when and where we'll be."

"Jack, stop! You're not thinking straight." Ianto reached for his arm, but Jack kept walking. Ianto stopped and waited for Jack to realise that he was no longer being followed. It took several more feet, but Jack finally noticed, turned around, and walked back.

"He won't know," Ianto argued. "We were gone for eight days and he only knows when we left him – _today_. He'll come back to today and wait for us to show up."

"He can wait then!"

Ianto reached for Jack's hand, but Jack shoved them into his trouser's pockets.

"Talk to me, Jack."

"I don't want to talk. I want to take a hot bath, order enough room service for ten people, get drunk, and fuck. Not necessarily in that order."

Anger opened Ianto's mouth before he could think. "Well, you're going to have to find someone else to _fuck_! I'm certain that won't be a problem for _you_! I'm going to find the Doctor!"

Ianto stormed off down the street, but only got to the nearest intersection where he stopped to let cars pass and Jack caught up with him, grabbing his shoulders, and spinning him around. "What happened to I came here for you, Jack. Not the Doctor. I want to stay with _you, Jack_? I'm happy here with you, Ja-ck.'"

"You're such a bastard!"

"I'm a bastard! You're the one who's leaving me to run off with the Doctor!"

"Well, you'd know all about that – wouldn't you?"

Jack jabbed his finger into Ianto's chest as he shouted, "I knew it! I knew you never forgave me for leaving you!"

"Which time are you referring to – the first or the second time?"

"I'm right! This is just your way of getting revenge!"

Ianto shoved Jack's shoulder, hard, sending him stumbling backwards a few steps. "You're not just a bastard! You're a self-centred, egotistical bastard!"

"Right - I'm the guilty one! Don't try to deny how you feel about him. You're in love with him – admit it!"

Ianto laughed wryly. "I am not in love with the Doctor."

"I saw the way you were looking at him when he was unconscious. I saw the way you _touched_ him."

"Jesus Christ! Not everything is sexual, Jack. I was concerned about him. He's my friend!"

"Fine!" Jack turned his back on Ianto and stalked off. "Then go off with your friend and have a nice fucking life!"

"There it is - the fucking legendary Jack Harkness look – his back as he's walking out on you!"

~ ~ ~

Ianto dug the top of his shoe into the gravel. "We've waited long enough," he said, kicking a stone onto the middle of the path winding through the park. "We've been sitting here for two hours."

The Doctor stretched, resting his arm on the back of the wooden bench. "I'm not leaving without him. He has no way of getting out of here."

"He'll make do. He always does."

"I was tough on him after my regeneration. The two of you left before I had a chance to apologise. I've been waiting for a long time for the both of you to catch up with me so I could have a chance to do that."

"You weren't in your right mind, Doctor."

"Stop that. Stop making excuses for Jack and for me. I know that I wasn't in my right mind. Jack knows that I wasn't in my right mind. But that doesn't mean he still doesn't deserve an apology."

Ianto blushed with embarrassment at the Doctor's scolding.

"And so do you," the Doctor continued. "Thank you for helping me through it and I'm sorry for being so difficult."

"It's… you're welcome and forgiven."

For over two hours, Ianto sat in silence next to the Doctor, stewing in his misery, his anger towards Jack escalating as each minute ticked by and Jack didn't show up. He was certain that Jack had decided to leave for good. But just like Jack always did, he surprised and annoyed Ianto by stumbling out of the trees, obviously drunk.

"Can we go now?" Ianto asked and without waiting for an answer, stood and hurried into the TARDIS, banging the door shut behind him.

He went straight to the bedroom, stripped off his clothes, and climbed into bed. He fell asleep alone for the first time in forty-one years.

~ ~ ~

 _Thursday, 08 July 2066_

Ianto found the Doctor alone with his sonic screwdriver working on the TARDIS's circuits.

"Where are we?" Ianto asked.

"America. Mid-twentieth century," the Doctor said.

"Why here?"

"I had a craving for pancakes."

"Pancakes? Are you serious?"

"What's your definition of serious?"

Ianto laughed. It was a nice distraction from attempting to restrain himself from asking about Jack's whereabouts.

The Doctor knew him too well though.

"He's making you coffee."

Ianto picked at one of the loose wires hanging from the console. The Doctor gripped his wrist and gently moved his hand away. "Talk to him," he said.

"I've talked to him enough."

"Then give him a chance to talk to you."

Ianto told himself that he was only going into the kitchen because he really needed a cup of coffee.

"Hi," Jack said shyly. "I made you coffee."

It wasn't a proper kitchen, more like a break room you'd find in an office building, with sparse cupboards, a coffee maker, a microwave, and a small refrigerator. It was tiny and barely enough to fit two grown men. Ianto squeezed by Jack to reach the counter and pour coffee into his mug.

The tension in the room grew thicker with each moment that went by in silence.

While Ianto dipped a spoon into the sugar bowl, Jack came up behind him, resting his hands on Ianto's hips and pressing lightly against him. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, no," Ianto said, shaking his head. "You don't get to do that."

"Do what?" Jack said defensively.

"You don't get to give me a half-hearted apology, grope me for a bit, and then everything is okay."

"That's not what –"

"That is what you were counting on." Ianto removed himself from Jack's grasp and stood as far away from him that was possible in the tiny area. "You have to talk to me about what's bothering you before this is okay."

"Nothing's bothering me," Jack muttered. Ianto simply glowered at him. Jack rolled his eyes. "Fine. Why don't we start with what _you_ think is bothering me?"

Ianto knew this was Jack's emotionally damaged way of opening up – get Ianto to bring up the subject, so it looks like Ianto's issue and not his.

"Let's start with your jealousy towards my friendship with the Doctor."

Jack slammed his coffee mug on the counter. "I'm not... you're mad. I'm not jealous."

"All right, Jack." Ianto put his mug next to Jack's and turned to leave. "If you're not going to talk about it, I have better things to do."

"Wait! It's not… it's not _jealousy_ per say. It's…"

"I'm not in love with the Doctor," Ianto said sincerely.

Jack huffed indignantly. "Yeah. Right."

"Real mature response."

"I see the way you look at him!"

"I don't look at him in any _way_!"

"If you want me to leave, so the two of you can be alone, just say so!"

Ianto snapped. He stepped up to Jack, resisting the urge to punch him, and grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt. "You're so bloody stupid! Don't you get it! I can't go back now. I can never go back and…" Ianto swallowed the lump in his throat and blinked fiercely to stop the tears that had swelled up. "You told me – you told me that I was dead back in my time. I don't go back, Jack. I stay out here in time and space… somewhere… with _someone_. You leave – that's what you do – and, if I don't have him, I'll have no one."

Jack's eyes filled with tears. He blinked and they dripped from the corners of his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." He held the back of Ianto's head and rested their foreheads against each other. "I can't promise you that I won't leave… I don't know… I've been to the end of the universe. I know its future, but I know nothing of mine. Except that I will inevitably lose you… and him, until I'm alone."

"Jack…"

"Sshh… I can only promise you that right now and every day when I look at you, when you make me laugh, when you kiss me like it's the first time and make me _feel_ like it's the first time, when you come up with a brilliant plan that two old time-travellers couldn't come up with, all I can think about is how I never ever want to leave you… you _saved_ me. You reminded me that it's all right to be alive for this long. And you'll eventually leave me, and I don't know if someday that's not going to scare the crap out of me, and I take off like the self-centred, egotistical bastard that I can be… but, right now, I'm not leaving… I promise, right _here_ and right _now_ , I'm not leaving."

Ianto opened his fist and rested his palms against Jack's chest. "We've only got each other, Jack. It's you and me - and you and me have the Doctor - and he has us. Not just me. Not just you, but _us_. It's unconventional and unquestionably unhealthy, but it works."

Jack tipped Ianto's chin and kissed him, slow and long, and without any prelude to sex. It was a kiss, sealing the promise. He broke away and ran his fingers through Ianto's hair, whispering his name, in a tone abundant with affection, "Ianto – Ianto – My Ianto..."

Ianto smiled. "Say my name again, Jack."

"Ianto. _My Ianto_."

"I think you've finally done it. You've found the best term of endearment that you could ever call me."

~ ~ ~

 _Monday, 29 August 2069_

"No, no… Jack, oh my god, Jack…" Ianto knelt next to Jack's body, holding Jack's cool, lifeless face between his hands. "Don't leave me… please!" A pair of Jagaroth soldiers grabbed Ianto by the arms and yanked him to his feet. Ianto fought them. "You killed him! You bastards, you killed him!"

One of the soldiers holding the Doctor shouted, "Shut up!"

"Leave that one," the one to Ianto's right said, his single eye looking at Jack.

The soldiers pushed Ianto and the Doctor out of the room, leaving Jack alone, dead, and, most importantly, unguarded. Ianto and the Doctor fell into step next to each other, two soldiers flanking their side, and a solider behind them and in front of them.

"How long?" the Doctor asked.

"The wound wasn't deep," Ianto whispered. "Five minutes at the most."

"We'll have to stall."

Ianto nodded.

"You're a really good actor," the Doctor said.

Ianto looked straight ahead, avoiding the Doctor's eyes, which he could sense were fixed on him. "Who said I was acting?"

~ ~ ~

 _Thursday, 17 May 2071_

"Jack! Jack!" Ianto yelled into the swirling black hole at his feet.

The Doctor yanked him back. "Be careful or you'll end up falling in as well."

"It just… the floor opened up where he was standing. It just sucked him up… where is he? We have to…"

"It's a transitory Time Vortex."

"Jack fell into a… he could be anywhere in time and space… he's…" Ianto grabbed the Doctor's arm. "We have to get back to the TARDIS now! We have to find him!"

"Calm down, Ianto," the Doctor said. "We have to close this thing first and shut down these rogue Time Agents. Probably best if Jack's not around for this. He could run into some old friends. Then we'll go and get Jack."

Ianto ran his hands through his hair, completely exasperated and shocked that the Doctor could remain so calm. "How are we going to find him?"

"We didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what."

"Oh, right. Sorry. After you and I found Jack in Cardiff, I installed a locator chip in his wrist strap. With his permission, of course. So, as long as he has that with him – and we both know that he never takes that thing off – the TARDIS will find him."

"Well, thanks for telling me that _now_ after I just had a bit of a panic! You only had forty-six years to tell me!"

"I said that I was sorry."

"But what if he's fallen into some place terrible?"

"Ianto –"

"What if we can't get to him?"

"Ianto –"

"What if -"

"Ianto! This is Jack we're talking about. He'll be fine."

~ ~ ~

 _Saturday, 19 May 2071_

The first thing that Ianto saw when he stepped out of the TARDIS was a gorgeous building made entirely of crystal, the peaks of it sparkling high up in the perfect day sky, overlooking a beach of fine white sand that was surrounded by a brilliant turquoise water that came ashore in gentle waves.

Adults were scattered along the beach, some lying on towels or lounge chairs with comfortable looking fluffy bright blue pillows. There two dozen or so blue and white striped cabanas lined up along the shoreline, each one inscribed with a script-style gold ' _H_.'

A young and extremely fit man, who wore nothing but a slim blue bikini brief that left little to the imagination, walked by carrying a tray of drinks and gave Ianto a once over and a charming smile when their eyes met. Ianto watched him walk away and noticed the same logo that was on the cabanas was embroidered on the seat of his bottoms.

"Jack – Jack - Jack," the Doctor sighed.

"Where are we?"

"Hathorari."

"Hathorari…" Ianto repeated. He had heard that name before. He knew that he had never been here. Where had he…? "I remember! Wasn't this where you took Jack after he left Cardiff?"

"Yep."

"Didn't you say this place was –"

"Hello, sir. My name is Andrew. How may I assist you?"

The handsome staff member had returned, the tray, sans drinks, now under his arm.

"Yes-s," Ianto said, his voice cracking a little as he became enraptured with Andrew's green eyes set behind thick dark eyelashes that curled just slightly at the tips. "Um, we're looking for someone. His name is, er, Jack. Jack Harkness. About this tall… a bit too loud. Tells outrageous stories."

Andrew's smile grew. "Ah, you're talking about the Captain. Follow me."

The knot in his stomach that had been there for two days unravelled. Jack was okay. And here. He hadn't lost him.

Ianto and the Doctor followed Andrew to a row of cabanas. As they walked along, Ianto heard various sounds of pleasure: giggling, humming, and moaning. He even thought that he heard purring coming from one tent.

The young man stopped and pointed towards a cabana. The cabana's curtains were parted revealing Jack lying on a table, flat on his stomach, naked, except for his wrist strap, and being massaged by two very attractive staff members, one male and one female, both naked as well.

Ianto crossed his arms over his chest and cleared his throat. Jack didn't move, but the staff members looked at him.

He cleared his throat again.

Still nothing.

"Jack!" Ianto snapped.

Jack shot up from the table and stood at attention next to it. "Ianto! It's, um… it's about time you got here."

"Yes, because it's been such a burden on you," Ianto said.

"Oh, look, I can explain… I, um, I was just –"

"Having a spot of fun," Ianto said, smiling just enough to let Jack know that he had only been teasing him.

Jack looked at the gorgeous staff members standing around and looking quite amused by the situation. "Oh, yeah…" He leered at them before he noticed that the Doctor was also there. "Doctor! Good to see you, too."

"Put some clothes on, Jack," the Doctor said shortly.

"Oh, right. So, we're leaving then?"

"Yes," the Doctor said.

Jack ran around the cabana picking up articles of clothing and putting them on not very gracefully. "It all happened so fast. One minute I was standing there and the next I was being knocked around in the Vortex and then – poof!"

"And you landed _here_ ," the Doctor said with more than a hint of cynicism in his voice.

"Well, not exactly. I landed on Planet G." Jack rolled his eyes and huffed. "The most boring planet in the universe. All the alphabet planets are extremely dull and unimaginative. But there just happened to be a ship leaving for here within an hour after I showed up. What are the chances? Hey, did you take care of everything?"

"Taken care of," the Doctor responded.

"Great. Great." Jack approached Ianto, completely dressed, except for his shoes, which he held in his hands. He kissed Ianto quickly on the cheek. "I'm ready."

"Good." Ianto kissed him back. "Doctor, I'll see you in… two days? Does that work for you?"

The Doctor's nostrils flared and his eyes widened, a look that Ianto knew meant he was trying not to laugh. "I don't think two will be enough. Take three. You deserve it."

Ianto nodded significantly. "I do – don't I?" He looked at Andrew, paused for a moment to stare at his gorgeous lush lips, and asked, "Don't you think I look like I could use a holiday, Andrew?"

Andrew nodded. "Yes, sir. I have to say that it would be a _pleasure_ to have you stay with us."

"Oh…" Jack's face brightened up like a child who had just heard the ice cream truck's jingle. "We're staying. That'll be fun."

"Not _we_ , Jack. Me," Ianto said.

Jack scowled, visibly thrown. "Huh?"

The Doctor tapped Jack's shoulder. "You're coming with me, while we give Ianto a break."

"Wait? I don't get to stay?"

"You had your fun," the Doctor said. He addressed the young servant, "Andrew, tell Chai that the Doctor – he knows me quite well. Dragged him out of a bad patch he had got himself in to. Tell him that I said to take care of Ianto and give him anything that he wants, that includes the penthouse and full use of all the resort has to offer."

Andrew gave Ianto a sultry look that made Ianto's lower belly burn. "Anything that he desires, sir."

The Doctor grabbed Jack's arm and pulled him away. "Stop pouting, Jack."

"I'm not pouting."

"You are pouting and I'm not going to put up with you pouting and sulking for three days."

"Three days? Honestly? We're not just going to come right back."

"No. You're going to help me clean the TARDIS and work on some maintenance issues. That should take about three days." The Doctor looked over his shoulder and winked at Ianto. "Or maybe four."

~ ~ ~

 _Tuesday, 06 September 2074_

Ianto leaned against the TARDIS and watched Jack pace, contemplating if Jack's irritation was solely based on concern for the Doctor or if he was just annoyed that they were sitting in a dreary, dimly lit alley waiting for him.

"Where is he?" Jack asked for the fifth time in the span of six minutes and fourteen seconds, and for the fifth time, Ianto answered, "I don't know."

"This always happens when we separate," Jack continued ranting. "If I'd known he was going to take the tourist route, we could've stopped at that disco we saw a few blocks –"

"Sorry!" The Doctor's voice reached them before he did. He appeared out of the dark, panting and leading a young woman by the hand. "Sorry. We ran into a spot of trouble."

"Well, hello," Jack said, his annoyance vanishing immediately. He extended his hand. "I'm Captain Jack Harkness and _you_ are?"

At Jack's boldness the young woman's body language changed. Her posture stiffened and her eyes darted between the two men before landing on the Doctor. She dropped his hand. "You didn't tell me that you had friends."

Ianto picked up on the note of fear in her voice. She was in a dark alley in central London with three strange men. He couldn't blame her.

Ianto put his hand on the back of Jack's neck, an intimate touch that didn't go unnoticed by the woman. He smiled warmly. "Don't mind him. I can handle him."

Jack fell right for it as Ianto had hoped. "And handle me you do – well and often."

"Jack – Ianto, this is Fiona Watson. She helped me out, and I asked her if she'd enjoy travelling around with us for a bit."

She pushed her long and curly red hair behind her ears and smiled. " _Please_ , call me Fi."

Jack and Ianto looked at each other and exchanged a silent conversation.

Ianto raised his eyebrows. _Do we get a say in this?_

Jack raised only one eyebrow. _What do you think?_

Ianto rolled his eyes. _No._

Jack shrugged. _'He's the leader of this unit._

"Still interested?" the Doctor asked Fi.

She checked out Jack and Ianto one last time before nodding enthusiastically.

"Brilliant!" the Doctor exclaimed and led her into the TARDIS.

"Oh, wow. It's so much bigger on the inside!"

The Doctor glanced over his shoulder, addressing Ianto, "That is how you greet a TARDIS."

~ ~ ~

 _Monday, 25 March 2075_

"She drank all of the coffee," Ianto complained. He untied his shoes and let them drop to the floor with a thump. " _Again_."

"We'll get more soon," Jack replied, taking off his shirt and throwing it on the bed.

"And she's always touching him," Ianto continued as he loosened his belt. He ripped it through the belt loops and flung it on the bed. He undid his zip and pushed his trousers down. "It's annoying."

Jack sighed. He removed his trousers as well, leaving them inside out on the floor, and with just his vest and pants on climbed into the bed. "She's got a crush on him. They always do."

Ianto frowned. "And she's always asking questions about you and me. _'Where'd you meet?' 'How long have you been together?'_ It drives me mad some days."

"You forgot what it's like to be around humans."

"I'm sorry and what are you again?"

"I stand – or should I say – I lie corrected. You forgot what it's like to be around _normal_ humans."

Ianto picked up their clothes, folded them neatly, and placed them on the floor in a pile. "I wouldn't mind so much if she would listen once in a while. How many times in the past five days has she been kidnapped?" Ianto didn't wait for Jack to answer. "Three. And the only reason that she wasn't kidnapped the other two is because we didn't go anywhere dangerous."

Ianto got into bed and Jack pulled him close against his chest so that Ianto's back rested against it. "Oh, I dunno. Planet Zed's third farthest moon can be pretty dangerous."

Ianto poked him in the stomach. "I only got lost there once and it was over twenty years ago."

"The Doctor just wants a new human to impress. It entertains him."

Ianto grunted noncommittally.

"He's not bored with us," Jack said, saying what Ianto wouldn't even admit to himself was the reason he treated Fi's presence as an intrusion.

"I don't –" Jack hugged Ianto tight, wordlessly reminding him that arguing was futile. Jack knew him too well. "All right. Maybe I thought that… just a bit. But… well, I reckon it's normal for him to want someone new around."

"Are you worried that I want that too?"

Ianto sighed. It was another truth that Jack had pointed out. Ianto was starting to think that he liked Jack better when he pretended to be clueless and shallow, which still happened more often than not, except when it counted – like now.

"Maybe," Ianto replied. "I mean it has been fifty years and you are the type who –"

"Fifty – really?"

"Well, forty-eight years and seven months – almost."

"You're not going to believe me, but it feels like just yesterday."

"I don't."

"I'm sure you've tried to work it out in your head just how old I really am. So, think about that period of time – centuries, Ianto, centuries - and what we can probably expect of… the future. Now, think about the average human and how long they can stay with their partner before they get good and bored. Got it? Right. That number is less than even one percent of my life. Being with you for fifty years, taking that and tripling it, will still never be enough time for me to get bored of you."

Ianto smiled, comfort and love filling him, as he reached over and turned off the light.

~ ~ ~

 _Tuesday, 01 October 2075_

The red light went from blinking about a beat per second to three beats per second. Before Ianto's mind fully processed what it meant, Jack acted quickly, grabbing him, throwing him to the floor, and placing his body over Ianto's to protect him from the blast that rocked the floor underneath them. Ianto heard the explosion and the sound of metal hitting walls and the floor.

Jack shouted out in pain and then his body went limp.

"Shite," Ianto hissed.

Ianto heard footsteps and Fi shouting, "Ianto! Jack! Doctor, hurry Jack's been hurt. There's… oh my god, there's a piece of metal…"

"Get him off me," Ianto said, panting and struggling to breath with Jack's weight on top of him. "Carefully…"

The Doctor approached and Fi begged him to help her. Jack's weight lifted as the two of them pulled him to the side.

"Ianto, I-I-I'm so sorry… he's…"

"He'll be fine, Fi," Ianto said, getting up onto his knees.

There were two large pieces of metal, the edges ragged, impaled in Jack. Ianto yanked the one in his side out first, wincing as blood spurted out and onto his pants.

Fi put her hands on Ianto's shoulders and tried to pull him away. "I don't think there's anything that you can do. That one hit his –"

"Fi, leave them," the Doctor said, imitating her actions on Ianto on her.

"But…"

Ianto removed the other one from Jack's lower back before rolling Jack on his back.

"Ianto," the Doctor said, "we have to go. That was only the first explosion. We have to get out of here – now."

"I'm not leaving him," Ianto said. "He'll wake up without us and –"

"He's in shock," Fi whispered to the Doctor.

"I'm not in shock. Jack can't die." Ianto looked up into her eyes. "Trust me, Fi. Jack will come back and be his usual self in a few minutes. Tell her, Doctor."

The Doctor nodded when Fi looked at him for confirmation.

"Wow… well, thanks a lot for letting me in on this _huge_ secret."

"We have to go, _now_ ," the Doctor said firmly.

"But Jack will wake up and we'll be gone," Fi said, impressing Ianto that she handled the news and went along with it with no adjustment at all.

"He's Jack, Ianto. He'll be fine. We can come back for him and –"

"No," Ianto said.

"I'm not going either," Fi said.

"Oh, this is just great. So, you'll both die and Jack will come back and be really thrilled with that development."

Ianto glared at the Doctor. "We have to protect him. Just because he can't die doesn't mean he can't lose a limb or get ripped apart or – just do something to stop the explosion!"

"Yeah," Fi said, kneeling down next to Jack in defiance. "Go do your tricks and make it stop."

"They're not tr-tricks! They are deliberate and well-executed plans!"

"Then stop blabbering about it and go execute one!" Fi said.

The Doctor stormed off, muttering to himself about rebellions.

Fi lowered her head and looked at Jack. Tenderly, she ran her fingers along his arm. "He died for you."

"Nah, not really. He knows that he'd come back."

She shook her head. "Still… it had to hurt _a lot_ and dying has to be scary no matter how many times that you do it."

Ianto shrugged. "It's not the first time that he's done it." He took Jack's hand. "It won't be long now."

Fi sighed. "I wish someone looked at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you'd die for him too."

~ ~ ~

 _Saturday, 30 November 2075_

Ianto stood next to the Doctor. They both looked out over the vast ocean.

"I never get tired of looking at that," the Doctor said.

"Looking at what?"

The Doctor outstretched his hand and moved it back and forth horizontally. "That line there where the sea meets the sky like they're one. Sometimes, I almost believe that they are."

Ianto simply nodded, waiting for the Doctor to speak. This was the Doctor's time; Ianto was merely there for companionship.

"I love the sea as much as I fear it," the Doctor said.

"You're afraid of the ocean?"

"It's a mystery to me. It's the only place in the universe that I can't go."

"I never thought of that," Ianto said.

"The Atlantic ocean at its deepest depth is eight thousand six hundred and five metres. Maybe there's intelligent life there, living, working, creating tiny worlds, and to them this… all this above them is their space that they've yet to explore."

Suddenly, there was a rumbling and a loud booming noise. Neither of them flinched. They continued staring straight ahead and watched the first manned space shuttle headed towards deep space, farther than humans had ever gone before, crawl across the sky, leaving a trail of white clouds in its path.

Ianto cleared his throat, resigning himself to overstep his bounds and address the topic that brought them to the late twenty-first century and put the Doctor into this pensive mood. "Fiona was brilliant, Doctor. I'll miss her."

The Doctor said nothing. He scrubbed his hand along his jaw as he nodded.

"Does she come home?" Ianto asked.

"No. The crew never returns, but the information that they send back will change everything. This is when it all changes for your species, Ianto."

~ ~ ~

 _Wednesday, 03 April 2080_

"Don't you see, Ianto," Jack said. "We're in an alternate timeline. Maybe in this timeline Rose never brought me back and, if she didn't bring me back, then maybe I can die permanently here."

"This is why you suggested that we split up. You didn't want the Doctor to know what you were planning."

"He wouldn't approve."

They were in an empty London hospital, abandoned long ago when whatever horrible thing had happened in this world had happened.

Ianto paced the floor as Jack sat calmly on a bed.

"I don't approve," Ianto said. "It's suicide!"

"Only if it works."

"This isn't the time to joke!"

"This may be my only chance."

"Jack… Jack, I don't know if I can…"

"The worst that'll happen is that I come back just like I always do."

"No! That's not the worst that could happen," Ianto said, panicking as he imagined _his_ worst thing.

He wanted to scream at Jack, _'Aren't you happy with me? Why do you want to die and leave me?'_ But he knew that it was selfish. He wanted more than anything for Jack to find peace; he had prayed for it for years, even if it meant losing Jack. It wasn't fair to ask Jack to live when he knew that someday he was going to die and leave Jack alone.

"Please… I have to try. Ianto, I have to try and I want you to be here with me. I _need_ you here with me."

"I won't do it," Ianto said. "I can't. If you don't wake up, and I know that it was me who…"

"I wouldn't ask you to do that." Jack pulled a small vial of greenish liquid out of his pocket. "It's poison. Quick and painless. It's just another weapon that I've used to fool people, when necessary, into thinking that I'm dead for good."

Jack offered it to Ianto to look at, but Ianto shrunk away from it.

"How long… if it doesn't work – how long will it be?"

"Ten or so minutes. But it won't work," Jack said, pulling the stopper out of the glass. "You and I both know that, but I have to try."

"Oh, god, Jack." Ianto fell to his knees in front of Jack. "This is all happening so fast. I'm scared. I can't go on without -"

"Don't talk like that," Jack growled. "Don't you dare do anything stupid."

"I don't mean that…" he said, unsure if that was true. "I wouldn't…"

"Promise me."

"I promise." Ianto put his head on Jack's knees and curled his arms around Jack's calves. "I can't say it. I can't say that I want you to die forever."

Jack ran his fingers through Ianto's hair. "Don't then. Just promise me that you'll take care of the Doctor and, if there is something after, I… just don't do anything stupid." Jack kissed the top of Ianto's head and Ianto shifted so they could have a proper kiss. Jack pulled away when Ianto got too desperate and begun to dig his fingers into Jack's arm, trying to hold him there, trying to stop him from leaving. "My Ianto…"

"Don't say it. Don't…"

Jack pulled him into a hug. "I love you."

Against his shoulder, Ianto felt Jack drink from the vial. He held Jack as tight as he possibly could. "I love you, too. You were brilliant. I want you to know… I should've told you before… that I would've died without you… after Lisa. I would've died. You made me feel special… you gave me Torchwood and I never thanked you… I never told you how much that meant to me… I…"

Jack slumped dead in Ianto's arms. Ianto pulled out his stopwatch and clicked it. He gathered up the remaining physical strength that hadn't been eaten away by his grief, and adjusted Jack comfortably in the bed with enough room so he could lie beside him.

He forced himself to breath as he touched Jack everywhere, trying to force his hands to memorise every inch of the man that he had loved for over sixty years. Jack looked so incredibly peaceful and Ianto couldn't find a word to express how it made him feel. He buried his face in Jack's neck and flung an arm and a leg over him. He put his watch on Jack's chest and placed his hand over it, both hearing and feeling the rhythm as it counted away time - time that matched the instinctual seconds that ticked off in Ianto's head, constantly.

The watch was just there for simple comfort. So, without looking at the watch, he knew that it he had waited exactly eight minutes and thirty-nine seconds until Jack returned to him, dragging a great breath of air into his lungs.

And Ianto would write in his journal later that day that Jack and him had sobbed and clung to each other for exactly nineteen minutes and four seconds before the Doctor appeared in the TARDIS and took them away.


	8. Chapter 8

_Sunday, 24 June 2085_

"Where is it?" Ianto asked as he spun around in a circle looking for an out-of-place blue police box.

"Gone," the Doctor said more indifferently than the situation warranted.

"Gone?" Ianto looked at Jack for support. "Gone! What does he mean _gone_?"

"Not here," Jack offered. "Not where it's supposed to be. Not in the vicinity of where we're standing. Not –"

"All right," Ianto said with a sigh. "I get it. Let me rephrase my question. Any ideas on where it might have _gone_?"

"A few," the Doctor said.

"Care to share?" Ianto asked.

"I think I'll wait to see how it works out."

Ianto raised his hands in the air. "You're not going to try to get it back?"

"How? I'm open to suggestions, if you have any, Ianto."

"We're stuck here? In Edinburgh? Indefinitely?"

The Doctor nodded. "It appears that way. Any other questions?"

"Nope. I was just clearing that up."

~ ~ ~

_Monday, 22 April 2086_

"So, what are you doing when you get off work?"

Ianto leaned on the bar, wearing a sly smile. "Why? Are you making me an offer?"

"I've got _a lot_ to offer. If you slide around here… I'll show you."

Ianto ran his finger along the hand now resting on his. "Later. I have to close up tonight. Did you get done what you needed to?"

"Yeah. I found the guy at the airport trying to make a -"

"Night, Ianto. Night, Jack," Crissy, a pub regular, said as she walked by the couple.

"Hey, come here," Jack said, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her against him. He nuzzled his face in her long brown hair. "What's a beautiful girl like you doing going home alone?"

Crissy giggled. "Oh, Jack, you're a naughty one. Stop - you'll make Ianto jealous."

"Not me," Ianto said. He grabbed a dishcloth and wiped clean the watermarks from the bar left by the glasses he'd poured drinks into all evening. "There's no room for jealousy in a relationship with Jack. His ego fills up all the space."

Crissy laughed as Jack frowned sarcastically.

"Well, good night, boys." She kissed Jack on the cheek, blew one to Ianto, and left the pub, now empty except for them.

"She reminds me of Gloria," Jack said wistfully, staring at the door she had left through.

"She's pretty. Warm brown eyes." Ianto tried not to make a big deal out of Jack mentioning his late wife, whose death had thrown him into a suicidal and psychotic state. Jack had only mentioned her a few times over the years, but each time it seemed to be easier for him to do so.

"You really don't get jealous?" Jack asked.

Ianto continued working, putting clean glasses and mugs away. "No. No… not really… sometimes, I reckon."

" _Really_?"

"Yeah… I…" Ianto stopped and looked at himself in the small mirror hanging on the brick pillar at the end of the bar. Self-consciously, he ran a hand through his hair, thinner and greyer than it had ever been. "It's the young blokes only. I know that it's daft and _vain_ and particularly pointless, but –"

"I think you're fuckin' gorgeous! Just because I look at –"

"I know that. I do. I said it was daft. I look too… and it doesn't change the fact that I love you."

Jack's forehead wrinkled. "We were talking about _love_? I thought we were talking about _sex_?"

Ianto laughed. He picked up Jack's hand and kissed it, mumbling against the palm, "We were. My mistake."

"Good. Not that's cleared up. Let's go home and talk some more – no – scratch that – let's go home and _have_ sex." Jack threw back the last of his whisky, and Ianto took the glass immediately from his hand and washed it out.

"I have to take the rubbish out back," Ianto said. "Then we can go."

"Need help?"

"Nope. I got it."

"Ianto!" Jack called out as Ianto dragged the rubbish bin filled with empty bottles through the entrance to the backroom.

Ianto stepped back out. "Yeah?"

"I love you."

Though he was shocked at Jack's impulsive declaration that was rarely spoken between them, but always felt, he remained casual, and replied, "I love you too, Jack."

Ianto was even more determined to clean up and get out of the pub. The work didn't require much thought, but it paid fairly well and some nights it was fun. Jack took private detective jobs when they needed extra money. Jack and Ianto wouldn't let the Doctor work; so, he spent most of his time reading, going to the cinema, and studying the locals, though Jack and Ianto discouraged the latter hobby, knowing all too well that there was a pattern of trouble finding the Doctor when he fraternized with humans.

Ianto opened the door and dropped the bin bag on the floor in shock at what he saw standing in the alley. "Jack, get out here now!"

Jack appeared in less than three seconds with his gun in his hand. Ianto waved at him to put it away. He opened the door wider, revealing to Jack what he was yelling about.

"Well, look at you gorgeous!" Jack said, stepping outside.

Ianto followed and he smoothed his hands against the blue wood. "Do you think the Doctor was working on getting it back all this time?"

"Who knows? Hey - look at this…" Jack pointed at an envelope nailed to the door of the TARDIS. He yanked it off, opened it, and unfolded the letter inside. Ianto looked over his shoulder. The handwriting was a large and elegant script written on antique gold parchment paper. He read along as Jack read it aloud.

_Please, accept my deepest apologises, sir. I seem to have misplaced my TARDIS and, while trying to retrieve it, inadvertently found yours. Though, I doubt that yours was in fact lost to you. At any rate, not until I had seized it._

_I'm mildly curious about whom you are travelling with at the moment. I found some interesting items in one of the bedrooms that one would not think suitable for use of by a Time Lord._

_Wishing you safe travels,_

_The Doctor_

Ianto laughed. "A past incarnation took this TARDIS. Unbelievable. I never stop… _unbelievable_! Do you think he knew?"

"I reckon he worked it out or had a pretty good idea. It could have been eons ago that this happened." Jack put his arm around Ianto's shoulders. "Are you ready to travel again?"

"The Doctor's wandering about. You never know when he'll get back." Ianto looked at Jack suggestively. "Are you ready to get reacquainted with our bedroom and make use of those _interesting_ items that's beneath the Time Lords?"

"You bet! And they have no idea what they're missing!"

~ ~ ~

_Wednesday, 22 December 2088_

"You can't go out there," the Doctor said. "Don't look at me like that. Jack, this is your department. Kiss him or _something_. Make it better."

"I don't want to be kissed," Ianto snapped. "Jack, do you have the list I gave you?"

Jack waved a piece of paper in the air, rolling his eyes. "I've got your list, Ianto." He bent his head and muttered under his breath, "As if I don't know it by heart already."

"I can wear the perception filter," Ianto suggested, though he had suggested it a few times already and he already knew their answers.

Jack and the Doctor both shook their heads.

"It's too risky," Jack said. "You're out there somewhere. Do I have to remind you that you're the one who insists on coming back at this time to get your supplies?"

"Well, I don't know if what I want will still be available in the future," Ianto argued.

Jack pointed at Ianto and looked at the Doctor. "See - fussy."

"You don't have to tell me," the Doctor said. "How many years is it now that I've had to listen to him complaining because he can't find anyone to cut his hair just right?"

Ianto shook his head. "All right then. Since it's take-the-piss-out-of-Ianto day, I won't leave the TARDIS. I promise. But don't forget the coffee! And don't substitute like you did the last time! If they don't have it today, find out when they will and we'll just have to fast forward a bit for it."

The Doctor laughed as he left. Jack looked at Ianto intently before turning around to follow the Doctor out the door. When they were gone, Ianto sat down on the floor, but before he had time to begin feeling sorry for himself, he heard the door open again and looked up to see Jack returning alone.

Jack sat down next to him and put his hand on Ianto's thigh. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Not really."

"You've never been like this before when we stop to refuel. Tell me what's wrong."

Ianto sighed. "It's the twenty-second of December."

"I know. It's the twenty-second of December two thousand and twenty. That's when you said you wanted to be here because you were certain that your favourite chocolate shop has the Belgian truffles you like in stock and you know that you in this time had a situation in North Wales and wouldn't be around to run into me. So… what's the problem?"

"I just… it's stupid. Never mind."

" _Ianto_ …"

"I miss celebrating Christmas. All right? I told you that it was stupid."

~ ~ ~

_Saturday, 25 December 2088_

Ianto shifted the bags in his arms so that he could read the list in his hand. He squinted, barely able to make out the letters. He blamed Jack's handwriting, refusing to entertain the idea that he might need reading glasses, no matter how often the Doctor insisted that he did.

He scanned the list and headed back for the TARDIS satisfied that he had gotten everything that he could. The only outstanding item was the cheese that Jack fancied. They had touched down a few months too late and the Paris shop, which carried the best Brie by Jack's standards, had closed. They would have to come back at another time.

The TARDIS was exactly where Ianto had left it. He approached it, hoping that Jack and the Doctor were still out seeing the sights. He liked unpacking the good and putting them in their proper place without interference.

He placed a bag at his feet, freeing a hand to search his pockets for the TARDIS key. He found it, but paused with the key hovering an inch or so from the door. Was that music that he heard? He quickly unlocked and opened the door, and the original recording of _'Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree'_ blared out at him immediately.

"Happy Christmas!"

Ianto stood dumbfounded in the door. It took him a few seconds to take in the transformation the inside of the ship had taken. A large Christmas tree stood in the centre of the TARDIS with a silver star on the top branch and covered in blinking coloured fairy lights that matched the ones hanging from the ceiling and around the control systems. The Doctor and Jack stood in front of it, both beaming, and both wearing hats – Jack a Father Christmas hat and the Doctor a purple paper crown that was a bit crooked, like his smile.

Ianto's heart felt like it was going to burst. "You two look utterly ridiculous…" Jack held out a Christmas cracker. Ianto placed the bags down, stepped forward, and grabbed the other end. "And utterly brilliant."

Jack and his eyes met and they shared a silent exchange.

_'Thank you.'_

_'Anything for you.'_

They yanked the cracker as the Doctor looked on. It opened with its expected crack and Ianto laughed as he unravelled the shiny red crown. Jack took it from him and placed it on Ianto's head.

"It's your best colour," Jack said.

The Doctor, looking eager, grabbed the joke and read it out loud, "Why are chocolate buttons rude?"

"I don't know," Ianto said.

"Because they are Smarties in the nude!"

Jack and Ianto groaned, but the Doctor threw his head back and laughed.

"He thinks that's funny, but doesn't laugh at my jokes," Jack said, feigning hurt.

"Because this is funny!" the Doctor said, waving the slip of paper in the air. "You're not funny."

"Whatever," Jack said. "Gift time!"

"Gifts?" Ianto looked at the brightly wrapped boxes under the tree. "That's not fair. I didn't know… I didn't get –"

"Oh, look," the Doctor interrupted as he reached under the tree and pulled out a large rectangle box. "This says it's for Captain Jack Harkness from one Ianto Jones." He handed it to Ianto, who was feeling as confused as Jack looked.

"What is it?" Jack asked.

Ianto shrugged. "I don't know."

"Open it and find out," the Doctor said.

The box was too big to hold and open at the same time. Ianto held it in his outstretched arms as Jack ripped off the shiny green paper with a look of boyish wonder. He shimmied the top of the lid off and his mouth dropped open. Ianto threw the lid of the box that was blocking his view onto the floor and his expression mirrored Jack's when he saw what was inside.

"Doctor, how?" Ianto asked.

Jack didn't seem to care how. He pulled the long wool coat out of the box, staring it with radiated pleasure.

"You're the one who suggested it," the Doctor said. "You told me that if we ever went back to Britain in World War II you wanted to get Jack another RAF greatcoat. I simply went there while you and Jack were off on one of your _holidays_ and got it for you."

"Thank you," Ianto said. When he turned his attention back to Jack, he saw that Jack was slipping on the coat. "Wait!" Ianto took it from his hands and opened it up for Jack's arms to slide into. Once on, Ianto ran the palms of his hand over the shoulders and down the arms. He then spun Jack around and inspected him, his smile growing as his eyes roamed from Jack's head to his toes. "Perfect."

"I know," Jack said smugly.

Ianto grinned. "Welcome back, Captain Jack Harkness."

~ ~ ~

_Monday, 26 September 2089_

"Whatcha doing?" Jack asked as he flopped down on the bed sideways, put his head on his hand, and smirked at Ianto.

"Reading."

"I can see that." Jack looked at the front cover of the book, which bore no title. "This is one of your journals."

"I'm well aware of that."

"Why are you reading stuff that you already know the ending to? Where's the fun in that?"

"I'm only…" Ianto sighed and closed the book. "All of these people," he waved his hand at the dozens of journals stacked up next to the bed, "it's like they're still alive out there somewhere as long as the Doctor is. As long as he can go to them, visit them, meet them."

Jack nodded.

"And when's he's gone, they'll be no more Time Lords… and when he dies so does history."

"It doesn't. History doesn't only exist because a Time Lord can visit it. Everything these people did, all of the decisions they made, the generations they started, influences all of the future."

It was Ianto's turn to nod thoughtfully.

"Listen – I was thinking that we could go somewhere fun today. You look like you could use it, and the Doctor's in a good mood and itching to impress his newest pet. By the way, don't you think this one is awfully young or are we just old? Never mind, don't answer that. Anyway, I thought we'd take advantage of it."

Ianto adjusted himself on the bed to face Jack. "I'd like to go somewhere, Jack. It would mean a lot to me if I could go home for a visit."

If Jack was surprised by Ianto's request, he didn't show it in his face. "Why?"

"I want to see Rhys and Martha. I know in my time they've probably been gone for a while, but I'd like to go back before they died to make sure everything worked out for them and to say… to say good-bye."

Jack studied him first before he said, "You said good-bye when you left."

"Sort of, I reckon. But there was always a chance that I'd come back. I wasn't sure if you'd want me, so when I left, I really didn't know – believe… not deep down – that I'd stay gone."

Jack leaned over and gave Ianto a quick peck on the lips. "I think the Doctor can arrange a short visit."

Just as Jack had said, the Doctor was with the newest addition to their team, Robyn, proudly answering most of her questions. Some he gave her the typical answer, "It's best if you don't know that." She accepted even his non-answers with awe, having been with them only a few days, she was still in the state where her mind was telling her that none of this was possible, but hoping that it really, really was. Ianto had liked her right away, but resigned himself not to get too attached, knowing that she wouldn't stay around for long. They never did, except for him and Jack.

"I'm sorry, Ianto," the Doctor said. Ianto's heart sunk. "I can take you to see your friend, Rhys, but not Martha."

"What? Why not?" Ianto asked.

The Doctor put his hand inside his jacket and pulled out two envelopes. "One day when Jack and you were out exploring, Martha's phone rang. It was her grand-daughter, telling me that Martha was gone. She asked me to retrieve these." He handed one to Jack and one to Ianto. "There was one for me too. Martha asked me to wait until the right time to give them to you. She died not having seen you. I'm sorry. I can't take you back now."

Jack ripped his open immediately. Ianto took his into their bedroom.

He was disappointed when he saw that it had been typed and not written by Martha herself.

_My Dear Ianto,_

_I asked a very good friend to transcribe this letter for me. My hands are old and don't always do what I want them to do._

_I'm certain that you're a bit put out with me right now for not contacting you sooner. Please, forgive me. I had my reasons. I'm not alone. So, don't be too upset. I'm surrounded by family and good friends._

_We had fun – didn't we? I've missed you all of these years, but I know that you are safe, happy, and loved. You're so very much loved, and I can die in peace knowing that you're being taken care of properly._

_Please, don't be too upset and mourn me for too long. I lived a rich full life, Ianto. I'm ninety-one years old, and I was lucky to live long enough to hold my great-granddaughter in my arms. There isn't anything left for me to see or do. It's time for me to move on. I'm at peace with that._

_Please, hug Jack and the Doctor for me. And don't go on for months pouting and brooding about this, and don't let them do it either. (I know how the three of you are!) Instead, ask the Doctor to take you to see a Shakespearean play – a real one!_

_Enjoy it, laugh, and remember me._

_All of my love,_

_Martha_

Ianto folded the letter carefully and stored it along with other special mementoes in a small wooden box that he had bought at a market in Tibet. He returned to the Doctor, Jack, and Robyn.

Jack put his arms around Ianto and the Doctor. "All right?" he asked.

Ianto took a deep breath and, while exhaling, nodded.

The Doctor simply said, "I've always wanted to attend the opening night of _'A Midsummer Night's Dream.'_ How about you?"

~ ~ ~

_Friday, 30 September 2089_

Behind the wrinkles Ianto saw the Rhys Williams that he had known. Rhys's blue eyes had dulled, but they still showed his true emotions, even if he didn't speak them.

"How'd you know?" Rhys asked.

"I didn't. Just picked a time and came back."

"You came to say good-bye one last time. Figured that I was dying soon."

"Rhys, I just –"

"S'allright, mate."

"Are you in pain?"

"Sometimes, but I'm going home tomorrow with Gemma. I'm tired of smelling antiseptic and having nurses wake me up every hour to poke me with something else."

"And there's nothing the doctors can do?"

Rhys shook his head. "They cut it out of me last year. Said they got it all. Idiots."

"I'm –"

"Don't say that you're sorry, mate. I'm bloody tired of hearing it."

"I understand."

"Look at you… I don't want to know how you haven't aged a day in almost thirty years." Ianto opened his mouth prepared to lie, but Rhys interrupted him. "No – really. I don't want to know."

Ianto chuckled. "I wish I could've seen the boys…"

"They're married now with kids of their own. We had a girl too after you left. She's beautiful and running around London with her twat boyfriend. He plays in a band."

"I wish… I'm glad that I got to see you. I should go… too much to explain if Gemma sees me here." Ianto patted Rhys leg and stood. He wanted to stay longer, but Rhys looks tired. "It was good seeing you, mate."

"I'm glad you came. Gemma, well, you know how women are… she worried about you a lot."

Ianto smiled, knowing full well that Rhys was expressing his own feelings. "I wish you could tell her that I said thanks."

"Ianto," Rhys said quietly. Ianto stopped at the door, turned around, and waited for Rhys, who fiddled with the top of his blanket, to finish his thought. "I don't… Listen, just tell _him_ that I know it wasn't his fault."

"How'd you know that I…?"

"I'm not as daft as I look."

~ ~ ~

_Thursday, 16 November 2090_

"The Old West," the Doctor said, clapping his hands together.

"Cowboys," Jack said, waggling his eyebrows.

Ianto frowned and looked out over the barren land. "There's nothing here."

"There is - just over there," the Doctor said, pointing to the left.

Ianto peered down from the mountain at the wooden town below them. "Please, don't tell me I have to wear chaps."

"Only if they're real leather," Jack said, slinging his arm around Ianto's shoulders. "And the only thing that you're wearing."

"Mental images, Jack!" the Doctor scolded. "I warned you about putting those sorts of images in my head!"

Ianto laughed and it quickly turned into a cough. Jack and the Doctor looked at him with worry.

"I think you should get that checked out," the Doctor said.

"It's fine…" Ianto coughed into his handkerchief. "It's just a cough."

Jack felt his cheek. "You're burning up! Doctor, help me get him back into the TARDIS. We'll take him to see Kimball."

"It's just a cough," Ianto protested.

But it wasn't just a cough and Dr Kimball rushed him into an incubator to help him fight off the alien infection that his human body couldn't do on its own.

When Ianto woke up, he had no idea how long he had been in there. He felt weak, too weak to even open his eyes.

Jack's angry voice echoed in the small room. "Kimball, why is he out of the incubator?"

"The latest scans and blood work showed that the infection is gone."

"He's recovered?" the Doctor asked.

Ianto heard silence in his head. The ticking sound of time being counted off that had been like the beating of his heart for so long was gone. And he knew what Dr Kimball's answer would be; his borrowed time had run out.

"I didn't say that. I'm sorry, but there was severe and irreversible damage to his heart and lungs."

"Fix it," Jack growled.

"I'm sorry. I can't… Ianto's human heart is one hundred and seven years old it's just not strong enough to –"

"Don't you dare even try to guess how strong his heart is!" Jack shouted. There were sounds of a scuffle. "You have no idea how strong his heart is!" Jack's angry voice boomed over Dr Kimball's shouting, "Get him off me," and the Doctor's attempts to reason with Jack, "Jack, let him go. We have to take care of Ianto. This isn't helping."

"He has twenty-five years left!"

"Jack," the Doctor said in his calmest voice, "he said that Ianto _could_ live that long. He didn't guarantee it. Ianto's human. We knew this day would come."

Ianto finally found the strength to take off the mask that covered his mouth and whisper, "Jack."

It was low, but Jack heard him, stopped his futile shouting, and immediately appeared at his bedside.

"Don't… Jack… it's all right. It's time."

"No. There's got to be a way… I'll find it. If I have to go to the end of the universe and back again, I'll find a way."

"I don't want that," Ianto said, entwining his fingers with Jack's. "I'm tired…" Ianto fell asleep, for how long he didn't know, but when he woke Jack was still there, still holding his hand.

He sat up in bed, feeling a bit stronger. He ignored Jack and addressed his questions directly to the Doctor, who sat quietly on the other side of the bed. "How long do I have?"

"Kimball said you could live, _if_ you take it easy, for another few months. But that means bed rest and light activities only."

"Where will I stay?"

"With us," Jack said firmly.

Ianto ignored him. He looked only at the Doctor, waiting for an answer. "They have a home here in the country. It's nice. Comfortable. With a full-time staff that'll look after you."

Jack yanked his hand out of Ianto's. "No one will be looking after him but _me_!"

Finally, Ianto turned and looked at Jack. "No. I won't have that."

"You don't have a choice."

"I don't want you to be my nurse, Jack. Please… that's not how I want you to remember our time together."

Jack started to cry as the Doctor got up and left them alone.

"I can't leave you… don't make me leave you. I promised that I wouldn't…"

"I'll be fine. You'll visit, bringing my favourite chocolates and coffee. I'll read. Write in my journal. Listen to music. It'll be easier for you. Just pop in our little blue box and go ahead in the future a week – and repeat until it's over."

"I don't want it to be _easy_. I want to take care of you."

"And I'll just die quicker," Ianto said bluntly. "I'll worry about you worrying about me. I don't want to die like that. Please. I don't want the first thing that you remember about us is you taking care of me. I… you know that I went through that with Lisa and I don't want that for us. _If_ you remember me…"

Jack desperately grabbed Ianto's hand. "Of course, I will. I could never forget you."

"Please, don't make promises that you can't keep," Ianto said.

"I'm not. I could never –"

"Jack, you have no idea how long you'll live. You can't promise to remember me for eternity."

"The hell I can't!"

Ianto wished that he could believe him. It's all he wanted – to be remembered. He had no generations to follow him. There would be other leaders of Torchwood, who would do great things just as he had done. There was only Jack and the Doctor who had really known him, who had seen what his life had really been lived for. Only Jack could be his legacy.

He felt extremely tired again, and the next thing he knew, he was waking again. Jack was gone, but the Doctor was there, sitting in the same seat.

"I sent him off to inspect the facilities where you'll be staying," the Doctor said.

Ianto smiled. "Please, make it easy for him. Let it take as little or as long as he needs before he comes back for his final good-bye."

The Doctor sat on the edge of Ianto's bed. "Ianto, may I?" He held his hands up towards Ianto's forehead. "I know that you've told me that I made the right decision taking you away from your life, but I need to see it."

Ianto nodded and the Doctor placed his hands lightly on Ianto's head. Memories swirled inside Ianto's head like he was looking through a kaleidoscope of his life, people whose faces he had forgotten long ago became as clear to him as if he'd just seen them yesterday. His sick heart filled with emotions, both good and bad.

The Doctor kissed his forehead and everything stopped.

"Thank you," the Doctor said. "You kept time for us two old cynical time-travellers. Now… Ianto Jones, it's time for you to rest and let time keep you for a while."

~ ~ ~

_Tuesday, 30 January 2091_

The day was the sort of day many people would wish for to relax in, sunny, but with a breeze that cooled the skin. Ianto enjoyed it in the way only a dying man could, wondering if it would be his last and drinking in every sight and sound that he could as he sat in a comfortable reclining chair set under an umbrella for shade.

It had been a bad day. Ianto had woken up tired, unable to get out of bed on his own, and had to be helped to the loo by one of the caretakers. He probably shouldn't have asked to be taken outside, but the brilliant weather was hard for him to ignore. Even though he hadn't really moved, except to turn a page on the book that he had been reading, Ianto found himself growing weaker until he could barely lift his hand. He reached for the remote button to call for someone to help him inside when a sharp pain shot across his chest. He felt the rest of his body start to fail. Each breath was a struggle. He couldn't move his arms or his legs or draw enough breath to speak.

He panicked. This couldn't be _it_. Jack wasn't here. He hadn't said good-bye. Quickly, he tried to remember the last thing that they had said to each other, but he couldn't think clearly through the haze of dread. He was going to die alone. This isn't how he had wanted to die... weak, old, _alone_...

He hadn't realised that he had closed his eyes until he heard heavy and quick footsteps and opened them to see Jack approaching down a stone path towards the garden. Ianto knew for certain that these were his last moments alive. He could see in Jack's eyes that this was a Jack that was grieving; this was a Jack that had already lost him and had come back for a final farewell.

"Ianto," Jack said as he squatted next to the chair and took Ianto's hand, "I can't stay… please don't say anything – save your strength. Just trust me. There's a reason."

Jack stood, kissed Ianto once softly before hurrying away, leaving Ianto confused, and heart-broken, but not for long. Soon another Jack appeared, nearly a second after the other's footsteps had died out behind him. Beyond Jack was the Doctor walking just a few feet behind, staying just outside the outskirts of Jack and Ianto's relationship like he had always done.

This Jack was visibly much older with hair that was more than three-quarters grey, and, the closer he got, the easier Ianto could see deep wrinkles and sagging skin around the jowls. Ianto understood immediately. He knew how long it took for Jack to age. This Jack, who was now kneeling next to him and clasping Ianto's hand to his chest, had to be millenniums older than the Jack who had just left.

The Doctor stood behind Ianto and put his hand on his shoulder. Ianto mustered the last bit of strength that he had left and said, "Please, let me see you." The Doctor moved behind Jack, held Jack's shoulder and Ianto's leg.

Ianto looked at both of them, these two extraordinary men, who had travelled through time and space to be with him, to say good-bye ages, at least for Jack, after he had already gone was the greatest compliment of the life that he was leaving behind.

"I love you, Ianto - _my_ Ianto," Jack said tenderly, holding Ianto's hand against his cheek.

Ianto wanted to keep his eyes open, to look at Jack until the end. But all his strength was gone. He felt at peace, like he used to standing on the dock outside the Hub, with the morning sun on his face, feeding the swans. His last wish to the universe was that someday Jack would be able to feel this peace. Ianto stopped keeping time and left this world touching the person who he had loved the most, and knowing that Jack Harkness – the unforgettable, the unstoppable Jack Harkness, who had all the time in the universe – would never forget him.


	9. Epilogue

Jack went back to the TARDIS, freely letting the tears shed that he had held back trying to be strong for Ianto. The Doctor was waiting for him and surprised Jack by pulling him into hug the moment that he got within arms' reach. At first, Jack thought it was a forced effort to console him, until he felt the Doctor's body lean into the embrace, seeking his own need for comfort that he could never express.

"Everywhere we go," the Doctor said quietly, "every place we visit… every time we exist in… he'll be there with us. By the time we join him in whatever world lies beyond this one, every corner of the universe will have known him."

Jack pulled back and looked at him in surprise. "Ianto always said that you weren't as cynical as you looked."

The Doctor frowned. "He didn't think that I looked cynical – did he?"

Jack smiled. "Ianto thought you were gorgeous."

"He did?"

"Very much. This one time –"

"Stop right there! I know where this is going and I don't want to know."

Jack laughed. It felt good and sad; it would be the first of thousands of times that Jack would wish Ianto was there, so he could share a joke with him. He pulled the Doctor into a quick hug, patting his back.

They separated and the Doctor pushed the door of the TARDIS open. "Are you certain you're ready?"

Jack nodded. "Yep. It's time, Doctor. Take me home."

~ ~ ~

Sayru read over Ianto's file once more before pressing the 'enter' key and officially classifying him as missing in action. Though she had agreed to do it within twenty-four hours after he left, she had waited one more day, hoping that he'd return.

It was early, just after dawn. She had been up all night reading the book of Torchwood's secrets that Ianto had left her. She hadn't had anything to eat or drink in hours. Peter had missed his rotation that day to stock the Hub with coffee and food. He had put on a brave face, but she knew Ianto's leaving had crushed him.

In her opinion, it had been Ianto's one flaw, getting involved with one of his subordinates. _None of that dodgy business under my watch_ , she thought as she walked out through the tourist office and into the waking morning sun. _'Things are going to change around here.'_

"Good morning."

Her hand flew to her weapon, but she halted when her quick reflexes and photographic memory helped her to identify the handsome man standing in front of her, wearing a vintage military greatcoat, and holding a simple silver urn.

"You're…" She wagged her finger at him, losing her ability to express her thoughts coherently. "I… know… _you_ …" She couldn't believe it. He was a legend and, if they were true, immortal. "You're…"

He snapped his heels together, stood at attention, and raised his right hand in a salute, while the other cradled an urn against his hip.

"Captain Jack Harkness reporting for duty, ma'am!"

_~fin~_


End file.
